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Excuse Me As I Kiss The Sky

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Rudy Francisco

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“Warhol will plant a journalism seed in me. He will also defend me in his diary, which will be published posthumously a few years from now and point out a thing no one currently acknowledges but that I will feel acutely--Warhol will describe his experience of my father and privately criticize Frank for viewing me as something he alone invented, a tool at my dad's disposal. When this icon's journal entries are made public, they wll become concrete validation and confirmation of my own unarticulated experience, a tiny light in the dark that lets me start to see my way out.”

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“You are not the product of where you came from. You are not what happened to you. Regardless of the taint of how you were treated, there's beauty in you. When we rewrite, we heal. When we rewrite, we get stronger. When we rewrite, we're unstoppable. There is never an end point, or a cap. Because we are only and always moving forward.”

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“Healing will come with trying different things, and in order to find what works, you might have to try some things that ultimately don’t work. That’s okay. What’s important is that you’re taking steps, one day at a time. Educating yourself, apologizing sincerely, and working to support them moving forward will go a long way.”

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Book:We Are the Evidence: A Handbook for Finding Your Way After Sexual Assault
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“It looked like a wave of green light, beginning with the roots and pulsing through the trunk until it split at the branches. It chased down every limb. Every branch it touched burst into life: leaves budded and then unfurled, and the most glorious scent of green and life and spring and summer all wrapped together filled Kiela's nose, mouth, and body. She felt as if she were breathing in the essence of the forest, alive and full of growth. Leaves layered over one another so fast that the sky disappeared and the sun vanished into a glow of green. Pressing itself against the trunk of the sycamore, the rabbit-size cloud bear wept tears as bright as diamonds. Its tears rolled down the bark, and where they touched the soil, delicate white flowers bloomed. She'd never seen flowers like it: they were clusters of petals that glowed with the soft, white light of the full moon.”

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“We all like to think that we’ll handle difficult times with clarity and perfection, but we’re all human. If someone has already disclosed to you and you’re realizing that you didn’t respond the way you would now that you know more about sexual assault, it’s not too late to tell them that you’re ready to be a strong support for them. Educating yourself, apologizing sincerely, and working to support them moving forward will go a long way.”

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“Over time and with a lot of healing work, the hard days will become fewer. But there will still be some, and sometimes they will sneak up on you. Bad days do not mean you have gone backward in your healing. Being able to recognize that you’re having a hard day, identifying the trigger, and knowing what tools might help you get through the hard day are all wins. Give yourself permission to take a break, breathe, and make yourself your top priority.”

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