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Quote by Alan Partridge

“I’d spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre – Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. And I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988.”

Book:I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

Work

I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

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Author

Alan Partridge

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“I spilled my cup of coffee straight onto my crotch. Superior heat retention has its drawbacks. I grimaced as the scalding liquid reached ground zero, but as I did my best to angle my jeans away from the Resnick family's last hope, my seatmate decided to dispose of her hoodie. I juggled two pressing needs: 1) Protect the nethers. 2) Leer”

Humor Humour

Book:Zero Sight

Source: Zero Sight

“It is a curiously moving experience, to hear 350 sailors uttering the words "Oh shit!" in eleven different languages.”

Humor Humour

Book:The Emperor's Coloured Coat: In Which Otto Prohaska, Hero of the Habsburg Empire, Has an Interesting Time While Not Quite Managing to Avert the First World War

Source: The Emperor's Coloured Coat: In Which Otto Prohaska, Hero of the Habsburg Empire, Has an Interesting Time While Not Quite Managing to Avert the First World War

“No, but if I were an illegal, experimental replicant hiding the truth of an international conspiracy I would try and put myself out of the way of those investigating it, wouldn't you? I don't think hiding under a bed will be very successful. But, if you've any better idea of what the deadly robot assassin is up to, please feel free to act upon it.”

Humour Investigation Robots Assassins

Book:Reality 36

Source: Reality 36

“I think I know where my life went wrong. For all the world's a stage and I'm a lousy actor!”

Life Acting Humour

Author:Greg Curtis

“But neither could compare with the gargantuan natural edifice that was the mountain upon which Nachtstürm Castle rose. It was a mountain made of the darkness between two lightning bolts. It was made less of earth than Stygian frost. Whole towns fell away as they ascended, as though the ranks of black and frowning conifers waged war against the humans below. Even the path – rather narrow and rarely straight – seemed less made by centuries of pilgrim feet and more by the trace of some careless demon’s claw. It was, in fact, perfect.”

Humour Jane Austen Northanger Abbey Nachtsturm Castle

Book:Nachtstürm Castle: A Gothic Austen Novel

Source: Nachtstürm Castle: A Gothic Austen Novel

“So it was perfectly possible that there were men who liked shopping, men who understood exactly what it was all about, but Mma Ramotwe had yet to meet such a man. Maybe they existed elsewhere - in France, perhaps - but they did not seem to be much in evidence in Botswana.”