Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Melody Beattie

Quote by Melody Beattie

“Detachment is not a cold, hostile withdrawal; a resigned, despairing acceptance of anything life and people throw our way; a robotical walk through life oblivious to, and totally unaffected by people and problems; a Pollyanna-like ignorant bliss; a shirking of our true responsibilities to ourselves and others; a severing of our relationships. Nor is it a removal of our love and concern... Detachment is based on the premises that each person is responsible for himself, that we can't solve problems that aren't ours to solve, and that worrying doesn't help. We adopt a policy of keeping our hands off other people's responsibilities and tend to our own instead. If people have created some disasters for themselves, we allow them to face their own proverbial music. We allow people to be who they are. We give them the freedom to be responsible and to grow. And we give ourselves that same freedom. We live our own lives to the best of our ability. We strive to ascertain what it is we can change and what we cannot change. Then we stop trying to change things we can't. We do what we can to solve a problem, and then we stop fretting and stewing. If we cannot solve a problem and we have done what we could, we learn to live with, or in spite of, that problem. And we try to live happily — focusing heroically on what is good in our lives today, and feeling grateful for that. We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more. Detachment involves "present moment living" — living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.”

Quote by Melody Beattie

Work

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

This book provides insights and practical advice for individuals struggling with codependent relationships, focusing on self-care and breaking free from controlling behaviors. more

Author

Melody Beattie
Melody Beattie

Melody Beattie is an American author known for her books on personal growth and self-help. Born in 1948, her works delve into themes such as codependency, self-acceptance, and emotional independence, offering profound insights and practical tools for readers. more

You May Also Like

“If she had answered him honestly she would have said this: To go back to the beginning. She would tell her thirteen-year-old-self not to visit the woman. To her twenty-five-year-old self: Find Simon, forgive him. She would tell herself to take care of Klara, to sign up for JDate, to stop the nurse before she took the baby out of her arms. She'd tell herself she would die, she would die, they all would. She would tell herself to pay attention to the smell of Klara's hair, the feel of Daniel's arms as he reached down to hug her, Simon's stubby thumbs- my God, their hands, all of them, Klara's hummingbird-quick, Daniel's slender and restless. She'd tell herself that what she really wanted was not to live forever, but to stop worrying.”