Home / Quotes / Quote by Oliver Hassencamp

Quote by Oliver Hassencamp

“Wer lügt, hat die Wahrheit immerhin gedacht.”

Quote by Oliver Hassencamp

Author

Oliver Hassencamp

Browse famous quotes and profile details for Oliver Hassencamp. more

You May Also Like

“Wir brauchen keinen Dritten Weltkrieg. Wir haben Kapitalismus, Kommunismus und Tourismus.”

Politics Humour

Author:Oliver Hassencamp

“Hey, the ubiquitous Leak-Cam is to 2010 as the bottom-of-the-screen news ticker was to late 2001: What you're seeing beneath the news anchor or talking head may not actually include any new information, but you feel like you're watching something dramatic.”

Humour News Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill

Author:Jim Geraghty

“Wie steht eine Frau vor dem Spiegel? Immer in Bewegung. Sie lässt nicht locker, bis sie etwas entdeckt, was nicht perfekt ist. Liebe Frauen, in dem einen Punkt könnt ihr etwas von uns Männern lernen. Wir zerfleischen uns nicht mit Selbstkritik. Wie steht ein Kerl vor dem Spiegel? Frontal, regungslos und kurz. Und nach zwei Sekunden ist er mit sich im Reinen - "passt schon". Mehr will er gar nicht wissen. Natürlich hat ein Mann irgendwann auch einen Bauchansatz. Aber kein Mann ist so doof und dreht sich vor dem Spiegel ins Profil!”

Book:Glück kommt selten allein...

Source: Glück kommt selten allein...

“I'm pretty sure my parents are pretending they are sick. I know because I taught them both to do that little trick. You blow your nose and hold your head and claim your brain is breaking. And so, a pro like me would know my folks are clearly faking. A little thing I learned in school convinced me I am right. My parents are supposed to meet my principal tonight.”

Author:Ted Scheu

“I Will Not Tease Rebecca Grimes I have to write one hundred times: "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." Okay, that's one. I'm far from done. (This isn't gonna be much fun.) "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's two. I'm paying for my crimes. It's all because I pulled her hair And put spaghetti on her chair. Because I gave her goofy looks And squirted mustard on her books, I have to write one hundred times: "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's three. Whoopee. It's going slow. Just ninety-seven more to go. "I will not tease" (I'm keeping score.) "Rebecca Grimes." (Now that makes four.) I'm soaked with sweat. My shirt is damp. I think I'm getting writer's cramp. "I will not, will not, will not tease Rebecca Grimes!" Can I stop, please? The teacher frowns, and that means no. I still have sixty-six to go. "I will-will-will not-not-not-not Tease-tease-tease-tease..." It's getting hot. "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's ninety-nine. The school bell chimes. Just one more line and I'll be through. Rebecca Grimes, this one's for you! My final line will rhyme with "Grimes": "I will not tease Rebecca...Slimes!" Rebecca Slimes! Ha ha! That's great! I'd better hide it. Oops! Too late! The teacher sees what I wrote down. She takes my paper with a frown. I now must write one thousand times: "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes.”

Author:Dave Crawley

“I Brought My Grandma's Teeth to School I brought my grandma’s teeth to school to share for show-and-tell. Billy showed his sneakers. It was more like show-and-smell. Kevin brought a violin and showed he couldn’t play. Katie brought a snake to school—too bad it got away. Our class likes show-and-tell a lot, so we were sad to hear our teacher say that show-and-tell is canceled till next year.”

Author:Robert Pottle

“Hals und Beinbruch, Saukerl.”

Humour Luck Wishes

Book:The Book Thief

Source: The Book Thief

“What can you do, of course, is an ancient and long-understood euphemism for, "I hate everything," [...].”

Humor Humour Introverts Euphemisms

Book:I Hate Everyone: An introvert’s miserable adventures with mailmen, children, the outdoors, and the human condition.

Source: I Hate Everyone: An introvert’s miserable adventures with mailmen, children, the outdoors, and the human condition.

“I always think before I speak. I always think “I think I’ll speak now.”

Humor Funny Humour Speaking Communication Quotes Think Before You Speak Outspokenness

Author:John Alejandro King aka The Covert Comic

“Happiness has to do with your mindset, not with outside circumstance.”

Life Inspirational Action Happiness Circumstances Mindset Agreement With Reality

Book:Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Source: Life, the Truth, and Being Free