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Dreaming in A Fish Bowl

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Devika Todi

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“If people would observe the obvious occasions of silence; if they would subdue the inclination to tale-bearing, and that eager desire to engage attention, which is an original disease in some minds; they would be in little danger of offending with their tongue, and would, in a moral and religious sense, have due government over it.”

“Withholding speech, in other words, can signify domination: the one who says less wins the emotional game, which is exactly why self-help guides aimed at straight women ... advise women to meet men’s silence with silence (don’t call back, don’t respond to emails, and so on). Straight women are essentially being told to use silence to empower themselves by fanning the kind of desire that, as we have established, arises from the other’s enigma.”

“It’s the brown skin of Palestinians that is stopping the entire world from stopping in their tracks. It’s Islamophobia, it’s racism. The complete destruction of a white majority population would have ignited the resistance, the uproar and action of all. Your favorite multicultural European city reduced to rubble would ensure unanimous outpouring of rage, support and sympathy. No one would care about losing opportunities, no one would say it’s complicated. Heinous acts of violence against black and brown skin has been so normalized it’s created apathy. Starving African children-the norm. A blow-up in the Middle East-the norm and ‘White saviors’ in the mix of it all-the norm.”

“I want you to know one thing. You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine.”