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Gwen & Art Are Not in Love

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Lex Croucher

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“Suddenly, a spiral of lightning snaked across the frowning sky and struck Ray and Ilsa. In a spectacular flash, they vanished. An earth-shattering bang of thunder knocked over all the FBI agents. Ilsa’s file of genealogical records flew into the air. The thoroughly singed pages flew down the street, twisting in the frantic breeze. The bullhorn fell from the limp fingers of Agent Schweppes’ hand. The rain began to fall like bullets.”

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“The driver nods and yanks the steering wheel like an old quack pulling out a molar, bumping us up onto the kerb. We stop beside a stall selling juice. Lesley and I approach the proprietor, who’s got a generous supply of teeth. Most of them seem to be vying for a seat up the front where the view’s better. He’s stuffing ripe oranges down the throat of a large trembling juicer. It’s whirring, grinding, and gushing a copious flood of juice into a bucket. Unfortunately, the bucket’s got a halo of flies. Lesley, not wanting to offend the man, leans closer to me and whispers, ‘It looks a bit unhygienic.’ ‘Unhygienic? Lesley, I can actually see a blue bottle washing shit off his feet with the juice.”

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