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Quote by Fred Barnett

“The figure hanging upside down at the top of the great hall had ‘f’n had it’ with the corpulent little blood dumplings! —Bats”

Quote by Fred Barnett

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“...an ambitious array of dishonorable intentions that he intended to wield upon the Countess’s nether regions. — BATS 2015”

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“They’re dogs. Never trust a man. Even when he’s dead. Especially when he’s dead. — Bats 2015”

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“You’re going to show up to a duel, in the street, wearing Come F—k Me Heels?" — Bats 2015”

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“Depart, Satan,' she said, with a complete lack of enthusiasm. — Bats 2015”

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“Wichtor’s been cranky ever since a fat vulture roosted on his granite Cârnat, uh, schmekel in 1864 and broke it off." — Bats 2015”

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“Vlad was sexting Elizabeth a picture of his pulă rigiditate, while he told Mina. “I vould like totally hang up on the dude. He’s no Baldwin." — Bats 2015”

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“We won’t be able to sleep without the sound of her self-loathing orgasms crying out into the night." —Bats 2015”

Author:Fred Barnett

“I was afraid that your buns were blown all the way to the Bardot Museum in Paris, where they put them on display, and then….” Mina said, “Were they displayed like this?" —Bats 2015”

Author:Fred Barnett

“Grrrrowpt.” said dead Penelope. Dead Huthbert nodded, and hugged her. She moved his dusty hand from her dusty ass." — BATS 2015”

Author:Fred Barnett