“Night after night I inflict abuse on myself, even drawing blood. It's strangely calming. I know the pain will stop whenever I want. I was the one who decided when it should start; I will be the one to decide when it stops. However much it hurts, I draw some comfort from the idea that I'm in control.”
Source: The Only Girl in the World
“We suffer because with every inner and outer suffering we eliminate one of our faults and become transformed into something better.”
Source: Anthroposophy in Everyday Life: Practical Training in Thought - Overcoming Nervousness - Facing Karma - The Four Temperaments
“Shaken by emotional storms, I realized that choosing to feel guilt, however painful, somehow seemed to offer reassurance that such events did not happen at random.... If guilt is the price we pay for the illusion that we have some control over nature, many of us are willing to pay it. I was. To begin to release the weight of guilt, I had to let go of whatever illusion of control it pretended to offer, and acknowledge that pain and death are as natural as birth, woven inseparably into our human nature.”
Source: Why Religion? A Personal Story
“My mother was in the hospital & everyone wanted to be my friend.
But I was busy making a list: good dog, bad citizen, short
skeleton, tall mocha. Typical Tuesday.
My mother was in the hospital & no one wanted to be her friend.
Everyone wanted to be soft cooing sympathies. Very reasonable
pigeons. No one had the time & our solution to it
was to buy shinier watches. We were enamored with
what our wrists could declare. My mother was in the hospital
& I didn't want to be her friend. Typical son. Tall latte, short tale,
bad plot, great wifi in the atypical café. My mother was in the hospital
& she didn't want to be her friend. She wanted to be the family
grocery list. Low-fat yogurt, firm tofu. She didn't trust my father
to be it. You always forget something, she said, even when
I do the list for you. Even then.”
Source: When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities
“Tell me how much you have entered into the suffering of those around you, and I will tell you how much you love them.”
“I no longer have any fear of pain because I'm the one inflicting it and can decide when it stops.”
Source: The Only Girl in the World
“For those who find suffering inevitable--in other words, for any of us who can't dodge and pretend it's not there--acknowledging what actually happens is necessary, even if it takes decades, as it has for me.”
Source: Why Religion? A Personal Story
“As for God, I frankly admit that I find it easier to live with the age-old questions about suffering than with many of the easy or pious explanations offered from time to time. Some of which seem to verge on blasphemy. I hope so much that no one has sought to try and comfort you by saying that God must have needed Francesca more than you. I would find it impossible to worship a God who deliberately stole my child from me. Such a God would be a moral monster.”
Source: Winter Solstice
“Redemptive suffering is an essential part of our master story. This is what it means for us to bear the image and likeness of God. By the power of the Holy Spirit, our suffering refines our charity, just as our charity transforms our suffering into a living sacrifice that allows God to have his way into our lives.”
Source: The Fourth Cup: Unveiling the Mystery of the Last Supper and the Cross
“There are times when fear is good. It must keep its watchful place at the heart's controls. There is advantage in the wisdom won from pain.”
Source: The Oresteia: Agamemnon, The Libation Bearers, The Eumenides