“Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.” PeopleThinkingWellsUseOrderCommunityBabyProgramDancingMalesActiveForestsNakedCelebrateDemonWitchStolenTurkeysWitchcraftLegionOutreach Author:Amy Sedaris
“I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?” KnowsHumorFunnyAnimalPlanetsBabyFemaleMalesDid You Know Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I was watching Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, "Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."” ThinkingKnowsFunnyAnimalComedyPlanetsBabyFemaleScientistYeahBillsMalesStubbornAssistantsDid You KnowHaving A Baby Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I first understood the changes that were necessary in this world, because the waiters in the restaurant, when I cried, used to say, "Leave her on the hillside to die. She's only a girl baby." I think they said it somewhat as a joke, maybe not, but it made me understand that being born female in this world was very different from being born male.” ThinkingWorldFirstsMadeSaidDifferentUsedDiesGirlBornThis WorldBabyJokesUnderstoodFemaleMalesRestaurantsCriedThey SaidWaiter Author:Grace Lee Boggs
“I hate the attitude of, 'oh we already have a Lydia Lunch, so we do we need a Bikini Kill.' Well, there's like 2 hundered million all-male bands writting 'baby baby I love you, let me drag you around on my ankle.' Is that enough already? Duh!” NeedsWellsEnoughHateAttitudeMillionsLove YouBabyBandLet MeI HateMalesLunchDragAnklesBikinisDuhEnough AlreadyI Love You Baby Author:Kathleen Hanna
“Song writing is about the male-female relationship. Yes, there are songs of, of brotherhood and politics but very rarely do we write about computers or, there are car songs, cars are cool. But even in the car songs, it's, ah, usually gets down to me and my baby and my car.” WritingSongCarBabyComputerFemaleMalesBrotherhoodMy BabyMale Female Author:Jeff Barry
“The Bureau of Justice reports that one in three black male babies born this century will go to jail or prison - that is an absolutely astonishing statistic. And it ought to be terrorizing to not just to people of color, but to all of us.” PeopleThreeBlackBornJusticeCenturyColorBabyOughtPrisonMalesReportsJailAstonishingBlack MalesBaby Born Author:Bryan Stevenson
“My role is almost a sight-gag. I have to be a woman to sing the lyrics "I am a man" to have it be a joke. I start the lyric in a male-register and a whole coloratura up into a soprano. And other points in the show... like the guy who likes to be treated like a baby and wear a diaper!” MenWholeShowsGuyRolesBabyJokesSightMalesLikesTreatedRegisterDiapersSopranosGags Author:Max von Essen
“The UK population became, for lack of a better term, Balkanized. And then all of a sudden Sharia mosques started popping up all over the place. And before you knew it, the most popular or frequent male baby name was Mohammed.” NamesTermBabyMalesPopulationMosquesPoppingSharia Author:Rush Limbaugh
“There are a lot of downsides to being male. We age faster and die younger. But give us this: we're lifetime baby-making machines. Women's reproductive abilities start to wane when they're as young as 35. Men? We're good to go pretty much till we're dead.” MenGivingAgeYoungDiesAbilityBabyMachinesLifetimeMalesFaster Author:Jeffrey Kluger
“The software program for motherhood is impossible to fully download into the male brain. You give them two tasks and they're like, 'I have to change the baby and get the dry cleaning?'” GivingTwoBrainImpossibleBabyProgramTasksMalesMotherhoodDrySoftwareCleaningDownloadsDry Cleaning Author:Allison Pearson
“She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.” MightBabyWeaponsMalesBottomGradesBlanketSophieBeta Book:A Dirty Job: A Novel Source: A Dirty Job: A Novel