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College Quotes

“A lot of novelists start late-Conrad, Pirandello, even Mark Twain. When you're young, chess is all right, and music and poetry. But novel-writing is something else. It has to be learned, but it can't be taught. This bunkum and stinkum of college creative writing courses! The academics don't know that the only thing you can do for someone who wants to write is to buy him a typewriter.”

“In Germany, many other countries, college tuition is free. Why isn`t free in America? Why do we have the highest rate of childhood poverty when other countries have rates much lower than we have? Why don`t we have pay equity for women workers? Why aren`t we leading the world in transforming our energy system in terms of climate change? We can do that. Are we dumb? Are we lazy? Not the case.”

“If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.”

“This game has taken a lot of guys over the years who would have had to work in factories and gas stations and made them prominent people. I only had a high school education, and believe me, I had to cheat to get that. There isn't a college in the world that would have me and yet in this business you can walk into a room with millionaires, doctors, professional people and get more attention than they get. I don't know any other business where you can do that.”

“Get your education. The number of guys who are blessed to be in the league is so small compared to the number of high school players [who want to play in the league]. But one thing you can do is get your college education. If you are blessed enough to get a scholarship to play college basketball, make sure you get your college degree, too, then move on from there.”

“I remember reading Dave Barry for the first time and being like oh my God I can't believe you can do this. Watching Mel Brooks and Monty Python and SNL and all that stuff really informed me as a writer and then at high school I started a satire magazine and the college like The Lampoon really introduced me to like you know a lot of very like-minded people who really wanted to like comedy was the center of their lives.”

“When I was in college my improvisation troupe and I did a road trip to Chicago, and went to The Second City to see the classic 'Paradigm Lost' revue - with Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Scott Adsit and Kevin Dorff. It blew my mind, and proved to me you can do sketch comedy like you're doing 'Long Day's Journey into Night.' We could treat it like theater.”

“The worst thing we can do is to assume that the Electoral College [voting] resulting in the election of Donald Trump represents a mandate. It does not. He did not get the majority of the popular vote; that went to Hillary Clinton. That means those votes represent the consciousness of the nation, which is that abortion should be legal, that contraception and family planning are health issues and prevention, that a woman's right to reproductive privacy is the law of the land and should remain such.”