“A marriage bound together by commitments to exploit the other for filling one's own needs (and I fear that most marriages are built on such a basis) can legitimately be described as a "tic on a dog" relationship. Just as a hungry tic clamps on to a nourishing host in anticipation of a meal, so each partner unites with the other in the expectation of finding what his or her personal nature demands. The rather frustrating dilemma, of course, is that in such a marriage there are two tics and no dog!” NeedsTwoTogetherCoursesDogDemandFindingsExpectationsCommitmentBuiltBasesBoundsPartnersHungryMealsHostAnticipationFillingFrustratingExploitsDilemmaTics Book:The Marriage Builder: A Blueprint for Couples and Counselors Source: The Marriage Builder: A Blueprint for Couples and Counselors
“It's easy to have a relationship and show each other only the beautiful shiny things. Sharing good parts about you is elementary, so finding a partner in life can't be only about showcasing these agreeable characteristics, but also the less impressive ones. In a strange way, true intimacy lies in that dark side-in making peace with the fact that it lives inside you somewhere-so that you can share it with the person and they can be there to help you overcome it.” WayPersonsFactsHelpingShowsBeautifulLyingEasySidesDarkShareStrangeFindingsOvercomingPartnersIntimacyCharacteristicsImpressiveDark SideMaking PeaceShiny ThingsTrue Intimacy Author:Claudio Sanchez
“The young women seem to think that they can only go out with or marry a man who is superior to them. The problem there is that they are wanting to be defeated, as opposed to finding a partner.” ThinkingMenProblemSeemsYoungFindingsPartnersSuperiorsDefeatedYoung Women Author:Gloria Steinem
“So many times each day we support each other informally without ever becoming 'helper' or 'helped.' Perhaps we're finding an article of clothing for a partner, cutting bread for one of the children, collecting the mail for the person at the next desk, holding the coat for someone at a restaurant.” ChildrenPersonsNextSupportCuttingBecomingFindingsPartnersBreadRestaurantsEach DayArticlesClothingsMailDesksCoatsCollectingHelpers Book:How Can I Help? Source: How Can I Help?
“I've lived in Forest Hill Village, Riverdale, Summerhill, The Annex and Cabbagetown. Finding the right neighbourhood fit in Toronto is only slightly less tricky than finding the right partner to share it with.” ShareFitFindingsPartnersForestsHillsVillageTrickyTorontoNeighbourhoods Author:Andy Barrie
“What's interesting is that the way we go about finding our marriage partners today is quite different from the way it used to be in this culture.” WayDifferentTodayUsedCultureInterestingFindingsPartnersUsed To Be Author:Sheena Iyengar
“Men find powerful women so threatening, and finding a partner was starting to look laughable, because I would be really attracted to guys and they would just be so threatened and I didn't like feeling threatening, I didn't want to feel threatened, I didn't want to feel like I was towering over anybody.” MenWantFeelsLooksFeelingsWould BeGuyPowerfulFindingsStartingPartnersThreatenedThreateningPowerful WomenLaughable Author:Amanda Palmer
“We fear that evaluating our needs and then carefully choosing partners will reveal that there is no one for us to love. Most of us prefer to have a partner who is lacking than no partner at all. What becomes apparent is that we may be more interested in finding a partner than in knowing love.” NeedsMayKnowingFindingsPartnersLackingKnowing Love Author:Bell Hooks