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Grieving Quotes

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Grieving Quotes

“I have heard countless sad stories since. I witnessed people come into the room for their first group with rounded shoulders, crumpled in grief. I have said, “It’s okay,” a thousand times as a griever sniffles and apologizes for their tears. But what I’ve also seen is the shriveled griever straighten and strengthen as they surprise themselves with a resilience they never thought they were capable of.”

“Growing up, I loved to throw pebbles into the lake near my grandparents’ cottage. The pebble hit the water with a loud splash and ripples would fan out from the point of impact. The water would shift and change through the ripples. It would never be the same as it had been before the pebble hit. To me, loss and grief are much like those pebbles, the water, and the ripples. A death or other loss occurs and strikes the waters of your life with a resounding splash. From that moment, your life is changed in a multitude of ways – painful, jarring, challenging, and ultimately, often transformative ways.”

“I always think of grief like an ocean," I say. "At first, the water is rougher than you knew possible. Tidal waves one after the other, no let-up, pulling you under. All you can do is drift and hope you’ll come up for air before it’s too late. Then, slowly . . . Eventually . . . There will be a gap long enough for you to take a lungful of oxygen before you’re pulled back under. This part lasts the longest, living for the brief moment you can breathe again. But over time the waves ease, the gap between them lengthens. And while you’re floating, you grow a little bit stronger. You know they’ll keep coming. It’s all the water knows. But you’re prepared. You know how to ride it out. That the lull will come again . . . sooner or later.”

“After a significant loss, it's tempting to live life in the past - wishing it had been different, screaming that it was unfair; deconstructing every decision to figure out where things went wrong or what you could have done differently, imagining what life would be like now had the past turned out the way you wish it had. But as the existential psychologist Irving Yalom said, sooner or later we all have to 'give up the hope for a better past.' You cannot change the facts of your history; you cannot change your loss. But you can integrate that loss into who you are now and decide what that will mean for you as you move forward. It is easy to conceptualize life as a series of events that happen to you, and your story as a reporting of those events. But it is not that simple. It is not just what has happened to you that shapes you. The way that you make sense of what happened to you also shapes you. There is the story you have lived up until this moment and then there is the story you are still living, telling, and creating. You are not just the storyteller; you are the story writer. How you understand the story of your past and your present is shaping a future that is still unfolding.”

“The Infinite One cannot be torn apart from itself. It is our personification of good, our belief that it belongs to a personal identity, that makes grief possible. And it is our understanding of universal good, God being everywhere and in everything, that heals it. The qualities and abilities we may miss in someone are not missing from Life. Every beautiful quality in someone is abundantly present and waiting to be recognised in all of Life’s great symphony.”

“No matter who you are, life is desperately hard sometimes. People we love die, and the longer we live, the more we find that's worth grieving. People we trust abandon us. Happy times come to an end. Circumstances change in ways that hurt us. Emotional needs go unmet. Trust gets broken. We are forced to let go of people, places, and things we loved dearly. There's even grief in letting go of who we thought we were.”