“There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."” WellsCountryThreeDifferencesJokesHundredDollarsRedneckOld Jokes Author:Larry the Cable Guy
“When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for practical jokes and teasing.” PeopleSpaceHugeCoupleJokesHundredPracticalsBreedingTeasePractical Joke Author:Duffy
“I always thought it was important to overdeliver, and when I got one of my first jobs, writing jokes for Garry Shandling when he was hosting the Grammys, I stayed up all night and wrote a hundred jokes, and I thought, "I'm always going to be the person that gives them more than they requested, and that's why they'll want to keep me around."” WantGivingWritingFirstsPersonsImportantJobsNightJokesHundredAll NightUp All Night Author:Judd Apatow
“For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.” EnemyTenJokesHundredAcquire Author:Laurence Sterne
“The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.” KnowsWellsDiesArmsPersonalityJokesHundredWarmDirtySmoothUnclesMistressExertionLushCheesecakeDirty Jokes Book:Underworld: Picador Classic Source: Underworld: Picador Classic
“You should not take old people who are already dead seriously. It does them injustice. We immortals do not like things to be taken seriously. We like joking. Seriousness, young man, is an accident of time. It consists, I don't mind telling you in confidence, in putting too high a value on time. I, too, once put too high a value on time. For that reason I wished to be a hundred years old. In eternity, however, there is no time, you see. Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.” PeopleMenShouldYearsMindLongDoeReasonEnoughMomentsYoungValuesTakenJokesHundredEternityMereInjusticeAccidentsYoung ManOld PeopleSeriousness Book:Six Novels: With Other Stories and Essays Source: Six Novels: With Other Stories and Essays
“You've no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six hundred years.” YearsIdeasSoundFiveSixJokesHundredNo IdeaOld Jokes Book:The last battle Source: The last battle
“They always prided themselves on looking youthful. “Forty’s the new thirty,” they’d joke. Until heartbreak and grief enter your life, and then forty’s the new one hundred.” GriefJokesHundredThirtyForty Author:Melina Marchetta