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Dirty Jokes Quotes

Browse 29 quotes about Dirty Jokes.

Dirty Jokes Quotes

“John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face." "He's an “asshole," John said. "Piss on him." "You did," came the reply. "And he fired you." "Well, screw him!" said John. "I did. You're back at work on Monday”

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Author:various
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“Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.”

Video GamesDirty JokesAnal SexBurpingCheap BeerCool GirlsGang BangThresomes
Book:Gone Girl
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“Never use naughtiness in mixed company, unless your witticism is so funny that your audience will shoot tears of happiness out of their eyes with a velocity sufficient to powerwash a small bus. Any joke that falls short of that standard will make you lose respect in the eyes of everyone except your best friends, who, as you know, lost respect for you long ago.”

HumorFriendshipDirty JokesNaughtiness
Book:The Joy of Work: Dilbert's Guide to Finding Happiness at the Expense of Your Co-Workers
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“By giving women training to sue a company for a 'hostile environment' if someone tells a dirty joke, we are training women to run to the Government as Substitute Husband (or Father). This gets companies to fear women, but not to respect women. The best preparation we can give women to succeed in the workplace is the preparation to overcome barriers rather than to sue: successful people don't sue, they succeed.”

PeopleIfsGivingGovernmentRunningFatherCompanySuccessfulEnvironmentSucceedHusbandTrainingJokesOvercomingPreparationDirtyBarriersSubstitutesSuccessful PeopleWorkplaceHostileRespect WomenDirty JokesHostile Environment
Book:The Myth of Male Power: Why Men Are the Disposable Sex
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“Despite the Internet 's origin in the late 1960s as a government sponsored means of communication between the Department of Defense, private industry, and academia, it has been at its best and generated the greatest economic, social, and technological benefits since it was 'liberated' by the hordes of 'geeks' who were originally hired to run it by employers who were not themselves conversant with computers, and couldn't tell when their employees were exchanging official traffic or trading dirty jokes and recipes for marijuana brownies.”

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Author:L. Neil Smith
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“I don't like my wrestling or entertainment in general to be too clean or predictable for me as a fan. When I say clean, I'm not talking about dirty jokes, middle fingers and stuff like that. I'm actually not even a big fan of that. A lot of people talk about the attitude era being so great but a lot of it was terrible crap, sex jokes and over-the-top terrible bad comedy. It was Jerry Springer-like. They made a joke about a woman's breasts. Hilarious, but where's the wrestling? I look back on a lot of stuff now, and I'm like where's the wrestling? It's just a lot of crappy jokes.”

PeopleLooksMadeBigsSexStuffAttitudeTalkingComedyFansMiddleTerribleJokesCleanFingersEntertainmentErasDirtyBreastsWrestlingCrapPredictableNot TalkingJerryOver The TopMiddle FingerDirty Jokes
Author:Dean Ambrose
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“People are in denial all the time, hiding things. If I tell you a racist or dirty joke and you laugh, you're telling me something about yourself, which you don't want to reveal. Accessing that hidden side is what good acting is all about. And there are only a handful of people in the entire United States who interest me as actors, who surprise me. Even people who write about it, don't know anything about good performance. At least when you work at General Motors, you know something about cars.”

PeopleWritingInterestActingLaughingCarJokesSurpriseDenialDirtyRacistHidingAbout YourselfMotorSurprise MeGeneral MotorsDirty Jokes
Author:Martin Landau
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