“I hate turkeys. If you go to the grocery store, you start to get mad at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Somebody just needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourselves!" I already like you, little fella. I used to draw you. If you had a couple of fingers missing, you would draw a really messed-up turkey. That turkey was in an accident!” IfsMenNeedsLittlesHumorFunnyUsedHateMissingLike YouCoupleDrawsI HateMadFingersAccidentsStoresTurkeysGroceriesMessed UpHamGrocery StoresFellasBolognaPastrami Author:Mitch Hedberg
“When you go to Africa and you see people who are just like you and me - this is always my starting point. These are people who are just like you and me. The same synapses, same things are firing off in their heads, same dreams for their children, same hopes and aspirations that we all have. What can one do to reduce the possibility that their chances of a happy and healthy and prosperous life are not solely determined by the accident of where they were born?” PeopleChildrenDreamBornChancePossibilityLike YouHealthyStartingDeterminedAccidentsAspirationProsperousStarting PointFiringSynapses Author:Michael Elliott