“A new survey indicates that Obama supporters love iPhones. So if you have an iPhone, chances are you are going to be supporting President Obama. In a related story, if you support Governor Chris Christie from New Jersey, chances are you love IHOP.” IfsStoriesPresidentChanceSupportRelatedPresident ObamaGovernorsSupporterJerseyChances AreSurveysIphoneNew JerseyOne ChanceChristieObama Supporters Author:David Letterman
“Today's biggest headlines are stories about people who thought they were doing something that was secret: Jesse Jackson's secret girlfriend and child, Monica Lewinski's private meetings with the president and confidential girl talk with Linda Tripp. Just think of the news stories we've watched on television.” PeopleThinkingChildrenStoriesTodayGirlPresidentSecretTelevisionNewsMeetingsGirlfriendHeadlinesMonicaConfidentialNews StoriesGirl Talk Book:Letters From Home Source: Letters From Home
“Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years.” YearsStoriesPresidentFourPresident ObamaDeniedFour YearsTicketsReplacedBiden Author:Jay Leno
“Arnold Schwarzenegger is in some trouble. Today, the Los Angeles Times broke a story that quoted six women who claimed that Arnold Schwarzenegger sexually harassed them. When asked about it, President Clinton said 'six? That's not enough experience to be governor.'” SaidEnoughStoriesTodayPresidentTroubleSixClintonBrokeLos AngelesGovernorsSexuallySchwarzeneggerPresident Clinton Author:Conan O'Brien
“There are not many of us African American Sister Presidents, and those of us who are in this field do not have an easy time of it. Why the story goes that one Black woman college president died and went to hell, and it was two weeks before she realized that she wasn't still on the job.” StillsTwoStoriesJobsEasyBlackPresidentEducationHellWeekFieldsCollegeDiedAfrican AmericanBlack WomenTwo Weeks Author:Johnnetta B. Cole
“Her nomination for vice president in 2008 represents the most desperate inclinations of the Republican Party. In two hundred years, I suspect historians will use Palin as an example of how insane America became in the decade following the destruction of the World Trade Center, and her origin story will seem as extraterrestrial and eccentric as Abe Lincoln jumping out of a window to undermine a voting quorum in 1840.” WorldYearsTwoStoriesUseSeemsAmericaPresidentPartyExampleRepublicanHundredWindowDestructionTradeVicesFollowingDecadesInsaneDesperateVotingSuspectsHistorianRepublican PartyJumpingInclinationEccentricVice PresidentPalinNominationsWorld TradeWorld Trade CenterExtraterrestrialAbe Book:I Wear the Black Hat: Grappling with Villains (Real and Imagined) Source: I Wear the Black Hat: Grappling with Villains (Real and Imagined)
“President Bush announced a major new plan for the United States to put a man on the moon, which would be a really big story if this were 1962. Bush said he didn't remember anything about the 60's - I guess he wasn't lying.” IfsMenSaidStatesStoriesBigsWould BeRememberLyingPresidentUnitedUnited StatesPlansMoonMajorsPresident Bush Author:Jay Leno
“The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House said, 'no no,' that they have payroll records to show that he served in the National Guard. But today, the commanding officers can't remember seeing Bush between May and October of '72. President Bush said, 'Remember me? I'm the drunk guy. Remember me?'” MaySaidStoriesShowsBigsTodayRememberGuyHousePresidentWhiteRecordsSeeingDrunkWhite HouseOfficersPresident BushOctoberRemember MePayrollNational Guard Author:Jay Leno
“What I want to do is basically tell my generation's story about how music and culture helped affect a generation, and a generation that's so profound, that it went on to elect the first African-American president.” WantFirstsStoriesCulturePresidentGenerationsProfoundAfrican AmericanMy GenerationAmerican President Author:Steve Stoute
“I know I made plenty of mistakes in my tenure. But one of the things that you learn is to be very careful and to protect yourself down the road a little bit, which is to say you've got to think ahead and think where is the story going to go? What are all the possible outcomes? And how do I protect the president from unexpected twists and turns in the road?” ThinkingKnowsLittlesMadeStoriesTurnsBitsPresidentMistakeProtectLittle BitCarefulPlentyOutcomesUnexpectedTwistsDown The RoadTenureProtect YourselfTwists And TurnsTurns In The Road Author:Dee Dee Myers
“President Obama awarded a National Medal of Arts to author Stephen King. You know, because if there's anyone who can relate to the story of a guy trapped in a mansion that's driving him insane, it's Obama.” IfsKnowsArtStoriesGuyPresidentKingsDrivingInsaneRelatePresident ObamaTrappedMedalMansions Author:Jimmy Fallon