“Here's good news: George W. Bush says that he is committed to fighting global warming. Yeah, well, he nipped that in the bud, didn't he? ... President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun” WellsMatterFactsTodayFightingPresidentSunNewsYeahCommittedGlobal WarmingTroopsGood NewsPresident BushBudMatter Of FactBuckles Author:David Letterman
“President Obama says he wants to put an end to the policy, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' Yeah, in the military. This is not to be confused with George Bush's policy, 'Don't Know, Don't Care.' That's a whole different deal.” KnowsWantDifferentEndsWholeCareAsksPresidentDealsMilitaryPolicyYeahDon't CareConfusedPresident Obama Author:David Letterman
“Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'” FeelsSaidTodayHousePresidentWhiteMetsYeahWhite HousePresident Obama Author:Craig Ferguson
“President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.” JobsLastsPresidentMonthsYeahWorkersCampaignsPresident BushNew Job Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush insisted that there was nothing in the August 6th, 2001 briefing, which was titled 'Bin Laden determined to attack the United States', that hinted what bin Laden was up to. Bush says that he would have moved mountains to stop the attack. Yeah, but he draws the line at reading a memo.” StatesReadingPresidentLinesUnitedUnited StatesMountainDrawsYeahMovedDeterminedPresident BushBin LadenAugustMemosBriefing Author:David Letterman
“Oh yeah, I'm the president of the lucky club. There are so many talented people who don't work. And the crop of young actors I'm surrounded by is incredible. When you have people like that around you it amps you up a little bit. Also, Emile Hirsch and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, or guys like Ryan Gosling. It's a really good crowd and I feel I'm coming up at a good time. But equally, there's a lot of good young actors who don't get to work who are more talented than I. I'm just lucky.” PeopleFeelsLittlesYoungGuyActorsBitsPresidentLuckyLittle BitYeahIncrediblesCrowdsClubsGood TimesCropsYoung Actors Author:Shia LaBeouf