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“What happens when water gets into a crack and it freezes?" "It expands," I said. "Makes the crack bigger". "Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life get cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks. You don't know how broken she was or what she was trying to do to fill those cracks. Being broken is not an excuse for bad behavior, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal.”

“If you had the power to erase every memory you have of me so you didn’t know what you were missing, would you do it?” she asked. “No, I wouldn’t do it,” I said without even thinking about it. “Why?” “Because life wouldn’t be worth living if I didn’t remember you.” She looked like she didn’t believe me. “But it’s so hard though,” she said. “Would you erase the memories of your grandma so you wouldn’t feel the way you feel right now?” “No.” “Some things are worth remembering, Samantha. No matter how much they hurt.”

“I’d never felt before like maybe we'd outgrown each other. Like maybe Mike was someone I wouldn't have liked today if I hadn't known him as long as I had. I kept hanging on to who Mike was for me in a previous life, ignoring who he was now, and I was tired of trying to cling to that. We're fed the narrative that you never give up on the ones you love. And I did love Mike. But it wasn't my job to hold him up while he decided if he wanted to stand or not. To scream at him to change until I lost my voice. I felt done.”