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The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

Book by Bill Maher · 3 quotes · Humor, Ifs, Politics

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The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass Quotes

“New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to let her see a crying baby, a bratty five-year-old, and a surly teenager to see what will happen if she doesn’t. And you have to tell her it costs $204,000 to raise it until it turns eighteen, in 2028, where it will be a slave to the Chinese, in a radioactive world with no animals, fish, or plants.”

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Book:The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
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“New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're sensitive, you look like you're homeless.The last guy to pick up a chick with an Apple was Adam. And when you sit across from another dateless loser with a laptop, it still doesn't look like you're working--it looks like you're playing Battleship.”

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Book:The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
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“New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open the bag, there’s no stopping us until we’re licking stray bits of powdered cheese off the carpet. So stop trying to give us nutritional information based on a fraction of the package. It assumes a talent for two things that we’re really not capable of: restraint and math.”

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Book:The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
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