“The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them that I think many people took them more seriously than they ought to have.” PeopleThinkingFirstsPersonsVoiceWatchesOughtMouthsInvestingEightFirst PersonInvestigating Author:Daniel Handler
“If I were to say, "Yes, I am a fascinating, erudite person," what would that say about me? I don't know.” IfsKnowsPersonsFascinatingErudite Author:Daniel Handler
“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” WayLovePersonsParentDealsFamilyBabyMessLife ChangingFamily LoveInspirational ChangeLoving FamilyPeople ChangingLovely FamilyPeople Can ChangeYou Can't Change PeopleCan't Change PeopleBaby LoveCute BabySweet Baby Author:Daniel Handler
“Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware.” PersonsInterestingAwarenessBoundsBelongingInteresting ThingsExamining Author:Daniel Handler
“If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough.” IfsTryingPersonsEnoughMightFoolDisguiseFacial Author:Daniel Handler
“It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right.” PersonsProveProvenProven Wrong Author:Daniel Handler
“Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.” PeopleKnowsGivingWellsMeanPersonsDoeEvilDealsStrangerGuaranteesVocabularyGood PersonGuarantees That Author:Daniel Handler
“It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.” IfsPersonsSometimesCoursesPolite Author:Daniel Handler
“It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains.” IfsWorldWantFeelsPersonsHelpingMiddleThis WorldSafeMountainFindingsWarmValleysTrustworthyWindy Author:Daniel Handler
“It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable.” PersonsDifficultPerfectLove IsAspectAdmirableNot PerfectSomeone You Love Author:Daniel Handler
“Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead.” IfsPersonsRoomsExceptionPretendingPoliteKnocking Author:Daniel Handler
“Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.” MeanPersonsPlayLastsMovingNightRoomsNotesBreathingComposerOrchestraLast NightComposingHummingMuttering Author:Daniel Handler
“I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it's the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them.” PeopleIfsThinkingTryingPersonsReasonEffortFateBelieverKarmaCommitReason WhyThings To DoRight ThingFewerGood PersonBeing A Good PersonPredetermined Author:Daniel Handler
“Simply put, dramatic irony is when a person makes a harmless remark, and someone else who hears it knows something that makes the remark have a different, and usually unpleasant, meaning. For instance, if you were in a restaurant and said out loud, "I can't wait to eat the veal marsala I ordered," and there were people around who knew that the veal marsala was poisoned and that you would die as soon as you took a bite, your situation would be one of dramatic irony.” PeopleIfsKnowsPersonsSaidI CanDifferentWould BeDiesWaitingSituationInstanceLoudIronyDramaticRestaurantsBitesRemarks Author:Daniel Handler
“it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed.” PersonsSometimesLostLossNeededLoved OnesSad TruthOne Friend Author:Daniel Handler
“In the time since the Baudelaire parents' death, most of the Baudelaire orphans' friends had fallen by the wayside, an expression wich here means "they stopped calling, writing, and stopping by to see any of the Baudelaires, making them lonely". You and I, of course, would never do this to any of our grieving acquaintances, but it is a sad truth that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed.” WritingMeanPersonsSometimesCoursesLostParentExpressionNeededCallingLonelyFallenGrievingLoved OnesStoppingAcquaintanceOrphanSad TruthOne FriendBaudelaire Author:Daniel Handler
“Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.” PeoplePersonsReasonMightTruthViewsWonderfulTreeHonestyTrustHighestHarderBranchesClimbsCoveredDistrustTrustworthyFather SonSapAlone TimeLove And TrustSplintersI Trust YouTrust LoveTrust WorthyNot TrustingTrusting YouTrusting PeopleNot Trustworthy Author:Daniel Handler
“Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action.” PeopleIfsWorldPersonsDoeHas BeensSaidActionCertainChangedStonesCalmTinyCirclesSmallestPondsRipple Author:Daniel Handler
“I think I’ve always believed that there is one person in the universe who you’re truly meant for–for whom you are truly meant–and the fact that sometimes there are two or even more people on the earth you can fall in love with really bothers me. It suggests that if you work hard you can be meant for anyone.” PeopleIfsThinkingPersonsTwoSometimesHardFactsEarthFallUniverseHard WorkFalling In LoveBother Author:Daniel Handler
“Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?” PersonsSoundAnimalAwfulSomedaySatisfyingTornWild AnimalTorn ApartOlafCount Olaf Author:Daniel Handler
“Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because children don’t have what it takes to scold. You need only three things, really. You need time, to think up scolding things to say. You need effort, to put these scolding things in a good order, so that the scolding can be more and more insulting to the person being scolded. And you need chutzpah, which is a word for the sort of show-offy courage it takes to stand in front of someone and give them a good scolding, particularly if they are exhausted and sore and not in the mood to hear it.” IfsThinkingNeedsGivingChildrenPersonsShowsWould BeOrderThreeFunEffortFrontsMoodExhaustedThree ThingsInsultingTime To ThinkTime Of NeedScoldingScolded Author:Daniel Handler
“But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed person, overlooking a sea without water and a forest without trees.” WorldPersonsWaterTreeSeaStrangeForestsOverlooking Author:Daniel Handler
“But we can also ask for something we are much more likely to get, and that is to find a person or two, somewhere in our travels, who will tell us that we are noble enough, whether it is true or not. We can ask for someone who will say, “You are noble enough,” and remind us of our good qualities when we have forgotten them, or cast them into doubt.” PersonsTwoEnoughAsksQualityDoubtForgottenCastsNobleGood Quality Author:Daniel Handler
“This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.” PersonsHas BeensFeelingsDoorsBedHidingStomachClosetsSinkingElevators Author:Daniel Handler
“He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked.” PersonsWantedUmbrellaRainy Day Author:Daniel Handler
“In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.” PeopleMenTryingPersonsCoursesWorryStrangerNobleSmokeNovelistsCigaretteAutomobileGreat AmericanTreacherous Author:Daniel Handler
