“I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.” IfsFeelsGoalStageGirlfriendPerformersRudeSay AnythingExesRagsEx BoyfriendEx GirlfriendNew Goal Author:David Rees
“I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, "Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it." And I figured it out and I did it.” IfsWonderPaidIf I CouldPencilsSharpeningSharpening Pencils Author:David Rees
“I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house.” IfsUseUsedHouseLeftPencilsMessyLeft Handed Author:David Rees
“I never thought I would make a living as a pencil-sharpener. The first goal was: I don't want to lose money. And then the goal was: I want to see if 100 people buy my pencils. I just kept upping the benchmarks.” PeopleIfsWantFirstsGoalLosesPencilsSharpenerPencil Sharpeners Author:David Rees
“I was just worried that someone was gonna think that I had been commissioned by Jamba Juice to make cartoons about Jamba Juice. And the big thing for me was - if I'm not getting paid to sell out, I don't want people to think that I'm selling out.” PeopleIfsThinkingWantBigsPaidSellsSellingWorriedCartoonBig ThingsJuiceSelling Out Author:David Rees
“I take pop culture really seriously, I think it's really important, and the stuff that I make...I don't want it to be insubstantial, even if it's about something wacky, like sharpening pencils. I feel like I owe it to myself and I owe it to people who are really interested in pencils and I owe it to anybody to do my due diligence and give them something real.” PeopleIfsThinkingWantGivingFeelsImportantRealCultureStuffPopsDuesPencilsPop CultureDiligenceWackySomething RealSharpeningDue DiligenceSharpening Pencils Author:David Rees
“To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.” PeopleIfsHumansRealEnoughJobsStuffPayTalkingRightsLuckyAbuseHuman RightsTerrorTechniqueGood JobPencilsAtrocitiesSharpeningReal Stuff Author:David Rees
