“The desire for vengeance against the partner who hurt you will probably arise. This is the ego's way of avoiding grief by substituting interaction for inner action - that is, personal work. Allow any feeling or thought, but refrain from acting on it.” RelationshipsPsychologyEgoBreakup Book:亲密关系的重建 Source: 亲密关系的重建
“You may fear that you will never find anyone else; no one will ever want you. This sort of paranoid delusion is to be dismissed as such, but it also serves the grief work. It prevents you from looking for someone else before you are ready to see who you are.” LoveRelationshipsPsychologyBreakup Book:亲密关系的重建 Source: 亲密关系的重建
“You may be unable to get the other person or the betrayal out of your mind. The ego prefers to choose one side of a polarity and ignore the other, which helps explain the origin and longevity of obsessive thoughts in which we can focus on only one option. You are not in the control tower. Rather you are challenged to become the landing strip. Simply allow any feelings and thoughts that may safely land or crash on you. They are normal and usually fade with time.” RelationshipsPsychologyEgoBreakup Book:亲密关系的重建 Source: 亲密关系的重建
“It is a mistake to recontact a former partner too soon. In this instance, it helps to have an ego that is too proud to beg for contact! When is the time right for reconnecting in a friendly way? Probably when you have stopped obsessing and no longer want or need to change him or get even with her.” LoveRelationshipsPsychologyEgoBreakup Book:亲密关系的重建 Source: 亲密关系的重建
