“Son, if a maiden love thee, thou shalt appear handsome in her sight; she shall praise thine eyes, and the corners of thy mouth, yea, she shall admire thy hands. Though thou wert even as the orangutan yet shall she paint thee with fancies.” IfsLoveHandsEyeSonMouthsSightPraisePaintCornersAdmireTheeFancyHandsomeMaidensOrangutans Author:Gelett Burgess
“The world is full of women, and the women full of wile; so that a man, if he goeth not warily withal, shall surely fall a prey thereunto.” IfsMenWorldFallWomenPreyGoeth Author:Gelett Burgess
“If thou makest a statement concerning women, lo, she shall immediately try to disprove it straightway. She goeth by contraries.” IfsTryingWomenContraryStatementsGoethMakest Author:Gelett Burgess
“Some women are to be captured by storm and some taken by siege; yet if there be not a traitor in her heart that shall deliver up the garrison, thou shalt not prevail over her.” IfsHeartWomenTakenStormCapturedTraitorSiege Author:Gelett Burgess
“Every person has some splendid traits and if we confine our contacts so as to bring those traits into action, there is no need of ever being bored or irritated or indignant.” IfsNeedsPersonsActionContactBoredTraitsSplendidIrritatedIndignantBeing Bored Author:Gelett Burgess
“If you wish to be positive, which means youthful, never speak of the past any more than you can help.” IfsMeanHelpingPastSpeakWishAgingBeing Positive Author:Gelett Burgess
“If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.” IfsYearsMayAgeLastsChangeOpinionMajorsAgingChecksPulseDiscarded Author:Gelett Burgess
“Ah, yes! I wrote the "Purple Cow" - I'm sorry, now, I wrote it! But I can tell you anyhow, I'll kill you if you quote it!” IfsWritingI CanSorryCowsI'm SorryPurple Author:Gelett Burgess
