“I should say we’d reach England by Tuesday or thereabouts, with a decent wind behind us. It would be a lot quicker than that if we could just sail straight there, but I was looking at the nautical charts, and there’s a dirty great sea serpent right in the middle of the ocean! It has a horrible gaping maw and one of those scaly tails that looks like it could snap a boat clean in two. So I thought it best to sail around that.’ FitzRoy frowned. ‘I think they just draw those on maps to add a bit of decoration. It doesn’t actually mean there’s a sea serpent there.’ The galley went rather quiet. A few of the pirate crew stared intently out of the portholes, embarrassed at their Captain’s mistake. But to everyone’s relief, instead of running somebody through, the Pirate Captain just narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. That explains a lot,’ he said. ‘I suppose it’s also why we’ve never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.” HumourNautical Book:The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists Source: The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists
“You can't reduce passion and flair and eating ham to numbers, sir!” Ham Book:The Pirates! in an Adventure with the Romantics Source: The Pirates! in an Adventure with the Romantics
“It was about as close as you could get to the platonic ideal of a ham, if Plato had spent more time discussing hams and less time mucking about with triangles.” PlatoHamPirates Book:The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab Source: The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab
“Anyhow, there simply isnt enough room in the museums Fishes Hall, so weve decided to pretend to the public that a whale is actually a mammal without any legs. Its pathetically ridiculous-I mean to say, just look at the thing, its a gigantic fish if I ever saw one-but mums the word! In my experience the public will believe just about anything, so long as you write it down on a little piece of card.” IfsWritingBelieveLooksMeanLittlesLongEnoughRoomsSawsPiecesDecidedFishesLegsRidiculousCardsHallsMuseumsMumWhalesMammals Author:Gideon Defoe
“That explains a lot,' he said. 'I suppose it's also why we've never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed.” LittlesSaidCornersGiantsDisappointedCompass Book:The Pirates!: An Adventure with Scientists & An Adventure with Ahab Source: The Pirates!: An Adventure with Scientists & An Adventure with Ahab
“Here's your first problem," he said, pointing at a sentence. "'Religion is the opium of the people.' Well, I don't know about people, but I think you'll find that the opium of pirates is actual opium.” PeopleThinkingKnowsFirstsWellsSaidProblemSentencesPointingPirateOpium Book:The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: Reissued Source: The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: Reissued
“Don't listen to people telling you that getting up early is best. René Descartes is one of history's most important philosophers, but he rarely got out of bed before noon - and when he started getting up early for a new job as a private tutor, it caused him to catch pneumonia and die.” PeopleImportantJobsDiesBedPhilosopherNoonNew JobUp EarlyTutorPneumonia Author:Gideon Defoe
“You don't know what it is to live and laugh and love and run a man through! You've never tasted salty air on your tongue or waved heartily at a mermaid!” KnowsMenRunningLaughingAirAnd LoveTongueMermaidSaltyLaugh And Love Book:The Pirates! in an Adventure with the Romantics Source: The Pirates! in an Adventure with the Romantics
“This is what I like about life at sea. It’s one long voyage of discovery. Solid water! What will they think of next? Hopefully a pony who solves crimes.” ThinkingLongNextWaterSeaCrimeDiscoverySolveHopefullyVoyagesPoniesVoyages Of Discovery Book:The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: Reissued Source: The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists: Reissued
“With a sound like a bat hitting a watermelon, pirate fist connected with pirate jaw and a gold tooth bounced across the deck.” SoundGoldConnectedTeethHittingBatsFistsPirateDeckGold Teeth Book:The Pirates!: An Adventure with Scientists & An Adventure with Ahab Source: The Pirates!: An Adventure with Scientists & An Adventure with Ahab
“I would like to tell you that I wrote my book to push back artistic boundaries. But I didn't. I wrote it to impress a girl.” WritingBookGirlBoundariesArtisticImpressImpress A Girl Author:Gideon Defoe