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Gina Senarighi Books

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“Trustworthy relationships are built on a foundation of goodwill. Couples with solid trust are able to give each other the benefit of the doubt in conflict, and they weather conflicts more easily because of it.”

“If you’re not asking yourself how you’ve contributed to the conflicts between you and your partner, then you’re not being brave in conversations or with yourself.”

“Empathy means giving compassionate attention to another by either silently or verbally reflecting their feelings and needs. There’s no need to fix or take care of the other person’s experience, only to offer warmth, acceptance and respect for their perspective and experience.”

“Lots of couples get stuck blaming and finger-pointing about topics and can feel like there’s no way out. The antidote to blame is personal accountability. Moving to a mindset of accountability means looking at and owning your contribution to the conflict (however small it may be).”

“Learning to accept and move through healthy conflict is an essential component of keeping passion alive long-term in partnerships. Couples who honor individuality and autonomy often experience more fulfilling intimate connections because they more easily save space for fascination, independent growth, and robust personal adventures.”

“It's not possible to have trust without boundaries. But for most of us, boundaries are a real mystery. Without clear boundaries, it’s not possible to build trust with others- or to earn trust from others.”

“True reliability is built not only by following through, but by following through more than once on promises. Which is why it takes time to build trust. We need to see changed behavior in the person who harms us more than once.”

“Then the more reliable and consistent we are in our follow through on commitments, and our relationship repair work the deeper trust grows.”

“Often couples are deeply connected, fascinated really, with each other in the first weeks of the relationship but as years pass we build familiarity (which is a good thing) and our curiosity wanes. We get out of practice staying curiously engaged. Asking strong follow up questions is one place to start that shift.”

“Couples who stay curious about each other, engaged in learning about their partners, open to growing together fare better long term. They're able to adapt to changes and navigate bumps in the road with resilience. And they maintain passion and intimacy by fueling a sense of discovery and space for fascination, mystery, and surprise.”