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Harvard Lampoon Biography

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“So, Belle, what's new today?" Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world." Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you 'What's new?' the correct answer is 'Not much'. Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends? Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave! I'm imagining pages and pages would happen - with nothing but the names of the months on them.”

Book:Nightlight: A Parody

Source: Nightlight: A Parody

“I was so attracted to him I could have peed myself right there on the spot, but I hadn't done anything like that in a while. I was older now, and harnessed my feelings in moments like these by opening and closing my fists very rapidly.”

Book:Nightlight: A Parody

Source: Nightlight: A Parody

“Germs contagious, contagious alert! But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt!”

Humor Twilight Nightlight

Book:Nightlight: A Parody

Source: Nightlight: A Parody

“You're lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man... he was trying to sell you a Sega product.”

Humor Games Sega Edwart

Book:Nightlight: A Parody

Source: Nightlight: A Parody