The Tub of Happiness

“Kevyn, I'm promoting you from Tech Sergeant to Munitions Commander. I want you to take responsibility for all Company weapons. Munitions Commander? Why me? I don't know. Call it "suspicion of extreme competence" on my part. -Captain Tagon & Commander Kevyn Andreyasn”

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Book:The Tub of Happiness

Source: The Tub of Happiness

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“The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?" "Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!" "I guess that explains their rich military history, then.”

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Book:The Tub of Happiness

Source: The Tub of Happiness

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“Hi. I'm here to enlist. You can't. You aren't human. You see, little fella, we don't do sociological stuff like "interspeciated workplaces." We're a crack company of space mercenaries. We do "hurting people" and "breaking things." Sounds like my kind of fun. -Schlock & Lieutenant Der Trihs”

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Book:The Tub of Happiness

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“That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant." "Well, the elephant started it." "That's irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up." -Admiral Breya Andreyasn & Sergeant Schlock”

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Book:The Tub of Happiness

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“Kevyn, Ennesby tells me you are building a time machine. Actually I'm finished. In one afternoon? Wow... Does it work? After a fashion. ... I put a whole lot of energy into it, and the next thing I knew it was time for dinner. -Captain Tagon & Commander Andreyasn”

HumourEngineeringTime MachineSemantics

Book:The Tub of Happiness

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“No! Wait! I've got a better idea..." "Your ideas tend to result in unnecessary violence, Sergeant Schlock." "And your point is..." "Let's broaden the definition of 'necessary'.”

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Book:The Tub of Happiness

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“Welcome to your new bodies, gentlemen. If you'd like, I can help you start your own 'dysmorphia is all in your head' support group.”

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Book:The Tub of Happiness

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“I'm a disgruntled ex-civil servant, and I'm armed. If you don't process my license right now I'm going to start making small, yet significant holes in people.”

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Book:The Tub of Happiness

Source: The Tub of Happiness

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