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“I bet I can get you relaxed enough that you sleep like you're on a cloud, basking in the sun.' I snorted again, rolling my eyes. 'You doubt me?' 'There's nothing anyone or anything in this world could do that would make that happen.' 'There is so much you don't know.' My eyes narrowed. 'That may be true, but that is one thing I do know.' 'You're wrong. And I can prove it.' 'Whatever,' I sighed. 'I can, and when I'm done, right before you drift off to sleep with a smile on your face, you're going to tell me I'm right,' he told me.”

“Poppy. 'That's the third time you've called me that,' I said. 'Fourth,' he corrected, and I blinked. 'We're friends, aren't we? Only your friends and your brother call you that, and you may be the Maiden, and I'm a Royal Guard, but all things considered, I would hope that you and I are friends.' 'We are.' And we were. His hand flattened against my cheek, and a sigh shuddered through him. 'And I'm not... I'm not being a good friend or guard right now. I'm not...' His hand slid, and his fingers curled around the nape of my neck for a few seconds before he slipped his hand away. 'I really should get you back to your room. It's getting late.”

“So, you're suggesting I led you out here, instead of toward a private room with a bed' - he dragged the tips of his fingers down my right arm- 'to engage in a particular type of inappropriate behaviour?' 'That's exactly what I'm saying, though my room would've been a better option.' My heart had already started pounding the moment my rear ended up in his lap. Now, it felt as if it were going to explode out of my chest. 'What if I said that isn't true?' 'I...' My stomach fluttered as his fingers found their way to my hip. 'I wouldn't believe you.' 'Then what if I said it didn't start off that way?' His thumb moved against my hip. But then there was the moonlight and you, with your hair down, in this dress, and then the idea occurred to me that this would be the perfect location for some wildly inappropriate behaviour.' 'Then I... I would say that's more likely.' HIs hand glided over the thin, gauzy material of the gown. 'So, there you have it.' 'At least, you're honest.”

“If I'm going down-' 'You'll go down fighting,' he finished for me. I nodded. 'Like I said, you're very brave.' 'I don't think it's bravery.' I returned to staring at my hands. 'I think it's... fear.' 'Fear and bravery are often one and the same. It either makes you a warrior or a coward. The only difference is the person it resides inside.' My gaze lifted to him in stunned silence. It took me a moment to formulate a response. 'You sound so many years older than what you appear.' 'Only half of the time,' he said. 'You saved lives tonight, Princess.' I ignored the nickname. 'But many died.”

“I'm sorry, for... not... protecting you.' His face blurred as I stared at him. 'The blood wasn't pouring from the wound as freely now. 'You have protected me. You still will.' 'I... didn't.' His gaze trekked over my shoulder to where Lord Mazeen stood. 'I... failed you... as a man. Forgive me.' 'There's nothing to forgive you for,' I cried. 'You've done nothing wrong.' His dulling eyes fixed on me. 'Please.' 'I forgive you.' I rocked forward, dropping my forehead to his. 'I forgive you. I do. I forgive you.' Vikter shuddered. 'Please don't,' I whispered. 'Please don't leave me. lease. I can't. I can't do this without you. Please.' His hand slipped from mine. I drew in air, but it went nowhere as I lifted my head, looking down at him. I frantically searched his face. His eyes were open, his lips parted, but he didn't see me. He didn't see anything anymore. 'Vikter?' I pressed down on his chest, feeling for his heart, for just a beat. That's all I wanted to feel. Just a heartbeat. Please. 'Vikter?' My name was whispered softly. It was Hawke. He placed his hand over mine. I looked at him and shook my head. 'No.' 'I'm sorry,' he said, gently lifting my hand. 'I'm so sorry.' 'No,' I repeated, my breath now coming in short, rapid pants. 'No.”

“Why did you go to the Red Pearl, Poppy? Why did you let me kiss you under the willow?' I opened my mouth, but his lips brushed the curve of my cheek, stealing my words. 'You were there to live. Isn't that what you said? You let me pull you into that empty chamber to experience life. You let me kiss you under the willow because you wanted to feel. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.' His lips coasted back up my cheek, sending a fine shiver over my skin. 'Why can't tonight be that?”

“You are most definitely not who I thought you were,' he murmured. 'How did you know?' I blurted out. 'Because the last time I kissed the owner of this cloak, she damn near sucked my tongue down her throat.' 'Oh,' I whispered. Was I supposed to have done that? It didn't sound like it would be something enjoyable.”

“You're still lying on me.' 'I know.' I took a breath. 'It's quite rude of you to continue doing so when I've made it clear that I would like for you to move.' 'It's quite rude of you to barge into my room dressed as-' 'Your lover?' He raised a brow. 'I wouldn't call her that.' 'What would you call her?' Hawke appeared to mull that over while still sprawled halfway across me. 'A... good friend.' Part of me was relieved that he hadn't referred to her as something derogatory like I'd overhead other men do before when speaking of women they'd been intimate with, but a good friend? 'I didn't know friends behaved this way.' 'I'm willing to wager you don't know much about these sort of things.' The truth in his statement was hard to ignore. 'And you wager all of this on just one kiss?' 'Just one kiss? Princess, you can learn a wealth of things from just one kiss.”

“Half of her face is a masterpiece,' the Duke murmured, and my skin flushed cold and then hot as my stomach twisted. 'The other half a nightmare.' A tremor coursed down my arms, but I kept my chin high and resisted the urge to pick up something, anything, and throw it at the Duke's face. The Duchess spoke, though, saying what, I wasn't sure. Hawke's gaze remained fastened on mine as he stepped forward. 'Both halves are as beautiful as the whole.”

“You are...' His stare was intense and unblinking, as he sheathed his sword at his side. 'You're absolutely magnificent. Beautiful.' I jolted, shocked. He'd said that I was beautiful before once he saw my face, and he sounded like he'd meant it then. But now? He'd spoken words which too often meant nothing and too rarely meant everything.”

“It's just that... gods, there are a lot of reasons why I don't understand how you can be this intrigued. You've seen me.' My faced heated and I sincerely hoped he couldn't see it. I hated saying it, but it was a reality. 'You've seen what I look like-' 'I have, and I think you already know what I think. I said it in front of you, in front of the Duke, and I told you outside the Great Hall-”

“I'm not afraid to speak the truth. He may be powerful, but he's just a weak man, who proves his strength by attempting to humiliate those more powerful than he is. Someone like you, with your strength? It makes him feel incompetent- which he is. And your scars? They are a testament to your fortitude. They are proof of what you survived. They are evidence of why you are here when so many twice your age wouldn't be. They're not ugly. Far from it. They're beautiful, Poppy.”

“You still out there, Princess?' My lips parted as my eyes widened at the sound of his voice. Hawke. It was Hawke. In that room. I couldn't believe it. 'Or have you fallen to your death?' he continued. I briefly debated the merits of jumping. 'I really hope that's not the case since I'm pretty positive that would reflect poorly on me since I assumed you were in you room.' A pause. 'Behaving. And not on a ledge, several dozen feet in the air, for reasons I can't even begin to fathom but am dying to learn.”

“I hope you realise that no matter what anyone has ever told you, you are more worthy than anyone I've ever met.' My heart squeezed in the best way. 'You haven't met enough people, then.' 'I have met too many.' He lifted his chin, kissing my forehead. He leaned back, sliding his thumb along my jaw. 'You deserve so much more than what awaits you.”

“I... you're perfect.' His expression tightened. 'No, I'm not. You deserve someone who is, but I'm too much of a bastard to allow that.' I shook my head, unsure how he couldn't see that he was deserving. 'I disagree with everything you just said.' 'Shocker,' he said, and then he curled his arm around me.”

“I plotted to take you from everything you knew, and I did, but that's nowhere near the worst of my crimes. I've killed people, Poppy. There is so much blood on my hands that they will never be clean. I will overthrow the Queen who cared for you, and many more will die in the process. I am not a good man.' He swallowed hard. 'But I am trying to be right now.' ... 'I don't want you to be good.' Without even realising it, I had lifted my other hand, fisting the front of his shirt. 'I want you.”

“You're... you're nothing like I expected.' The way he said that sounded so genuine that some of my irritation eased. 'Was it my skill with an arrow or the blade? Or was it that fact that I took you to the ground?' 'Barely took me to the ground,' he corrected. His chin dipped, and his lashes lowered, shielding his odd eyes. 'All of those things. But you forgot to add in the Red Pearl. I never expected to find the Maiden there.' I snorted. 'I imagine not.”

“I hate you.' I scrambled to fold myself back up into my blanket cocoon. 'See, that's the problem. You don't hate me.' I had no response to that. 'You know what I think?' 'No. And I don't want to know.' He ignored that. 'You like me.' My brows knitted together as I stared out over the small clearing. 'Enough to be wildly inappropriate with me.' A pause. 'On multiple occasions.' 'Good gods, I'd rather freeze to death at this point.' 'Oh, right. We're pretending none of that happened. I keep forgetting.' 'Just because I don't bring it up every five minutes doesn't mean I'm pretending it didn't happen.' 'But bringing it up every five minutes is so much fun.”

“This is highly inappropriate,' I muttered. His answering chuckle stroked my nerves in all the wrong- and right- ways. 'More inappropriate than you masquerading as a wholly different kind of maid at the Red Pearl?' My jaw snapped shut so quickly and tightly, I was surprised I didn't crack a molar. 'Or more inappropriate than the night of the Rite, when you let me-' 'Shut up,' I hissed. 'I'm not done yet,' he said, his chest pressing against my back. 'What about sneaking off to fight the Craven on the Rise? Or that diary-?' 'I get your point, Hawke. Can you stop talking now?' 'You're the one who started this.' 'Actually, no, I did not.' 'What?' A low laugh left him. 'You said, and I quote, "this is wildly, grossly, irrefutably...' 'Did you just learn what an adverb is today? Because that is not what I said.' Hawke sighed. 'Sorry.' He didn't sound sorry about it at all.”

“Is this why you led me out here to this place?' 'What is this, Princess?' 'To be... inappropriate.' 'And why would I do that?' he asked, his voice dropping low as his hand touched my arm. 'Why? I think it's pretty obvious, Hawke. I'm sitting in your lap. I doubt that's how you normally hold innocent conversations with people.' 'Very rarely is anything I do innocent, Princess.' 'Shocker,' I muttered.”

“Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.' 'A deal?' 'If I do anything you don't like...' Hawke's hand slid down my thigh, causing my breath to catch. Through the dress, his hand closed over the dagger. 'I give you permission to stab me.' 'That would be excessive.' 'I was hoping you'd give me just a measly flesh wound,' he added. 'But it'd be worth finding out.' I grinned. 'You're such a bad influence.' 'I think we've already established that only the bad can be influenced.' 'And I think I already told you that your logic is faulty.”

“I'm the Maiden, Hawke,' I reminded him- or myself, I wasn't sure. 'And I don't care.' My eyes flew open in shock. 'I can't believe you just said that.' 'I did, and I'll say it again. I don't care what you are,' Hawke's hand slid off my neck. A moment later, I felt his palm flatten against my cheek with unerring accuracy. 'I care about who you are.”

“Why would you say that?' 'Are you seriously asking me that?' Yes I am. It doesn't make sense.' 'You don't make sense.' I hit his shoulder- or chest. Some extremely hard part of him. Hawke grunted. 'Ouch.' I so did not hit him hard enough for that. 'You're fine.' 'I'm bruised.' 'You're ridiculous,' I retorted. 'And it's you who makes no sense.' 'I'm the one sitting here being honest. You're the one hitting me. How do I not make sense?' 'Because this whole thing makes no sense.' Frustration rose swiftly through me, and I started to stand, but the hand on my hip stopped me. Or I let it stop me. I wasn't sure. And that was even more irritating. 'You could be spending time with anyone, Hawke- any number of people you wouldn't have to hide in a willow tree to be with.' 'And yet, I'm here with you. And before you even begin to think it's because of my duty to you, it's not. I could've just walked you back to your room and stayed out in the hall.' 'That's my point. It makes no sense. You can have a slew of willing participants in... whatever this is. It would be easy,' I said. Pretty Britta came to mind. I was sure he'd had her. 'You can't have me. I'm... I'm un-have-able.' 'I'm confident that's not even a word.' 'That's not the point. I'm not allowed to do this. Any of this. I shouldn't have done what I did at the Red Pearl,' I continued. 'It doesn't matter if I want.' 'And you do want.' His whisper danced over my cheek. 'What you want is me.' My breath caught. 'That doesn't matter.' 'What you want should always matter.' A short, harsh laugh left me. 'It doesn't, and that's another thing that isn't the point. You could-' 'I heard you the first time, Princess. You're right. I could find someone who would be easier.' His fingers traced the line of my mask from my right ear and along my cheek. I had no idea how he could see. 'Ladies or Lords in Wait, who aren't burdened by rules or limitations, who aren't Maidens I'm sworn to protect. There are a lot of ways I could occupy my time that don't include explaining in great detail why I'm choosing to be where I am, with whom I choose.' The corners of my lips started to turn down. 'The thing is,' he went on, 'none of them intrigue me. You do.' You intrigue me. 'It's really that simple for you?' I asked, wanting to believe him, and also not. His forehead rested against mine, startling me. 'Nothing is ever simple. And when it is, it's rarely ever worth it.”

“I need to get you back, Princess.' 'I know.' But still, I held onto him. He chuckled, and I grinned into his shoulder. 'You have to let me go, though.' 'I know.' I sighed, yet I remained where I was, thinking that the moment we stepped outside of the willow, we would be back in the real world, no longer in our haven where I was Poppy, and who I was mattered. 'I don't want to.' He was silent for so long that I feared that I'd said the wrong thing, but then his arm tightened around me again. When he spoke his voice was strangely rough. 'Neither do I.”

“Do you understand what she is?' he demanded, voice so low it was barely audible. 'Do you even understand what you could've caused if anyone other than I had come upon you two?' I stepped forward. 'Vikter-' 'I know exactly who she is,' Hawke shot back. 'Not what she is. Maybe you've forgotten that she's not just a godsdamn inanimate object whose only purpose is to serve a kingdom, but I haven't.”