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Jessica Bennett

Jessica Bennett Books

Journalist

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“If you can kill it in the bedroom, chances are you can kill it in the kitchen, too—and studies have shown that men who help out more with the chores have more sex with their wives (really!). We know, gender roles run deep, which is why women in hetero relationships still end up doing the vast majority of the domestic work despite being the breadwinners in two-thirds of American homes, leaving them burned out, resentful, and, nope, not really in the mood. But it doesn’t have to be this way—and, in fact, we might want to borrow a page from our LGBTQ sisters and brothers (or those who identify as neither): research shows they split chores, decisions, and finances more evenly”

Men
Book:Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace
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“If you’re the dad of a daughter, your job is particularly important, affecting her self-esteem, her autonomy, and her aspirations (according to one study, out of the University of British Columbia, daughters who see their dads doing chores are less likely to limit their career aspirations to stereotypically female industries, like teaching or nursing). But you can’t just talk the talk, you have to actually walk it. We promise, it’ll pay off for you, too! Working dads who spend more time with their kids are happier in their jobs. They’re also more patient, empathetic, and flexible—and at least one study claims it might just help them live longer.”

Men
Book:Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace
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“What do you feel passionately about? What irks you the most at your office, or your campus? Create a protest around it. Ideas: Make stickers that say “FFC IS WATCHING” and place them over the mouths of sexist ads you see on the subway. Organize the women in your office to wear your bulkiest winter gear for a day—to protest how goddamn cold the air conditioning is.”

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Book:Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace
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“Perhaps women are lied to more often because managers think they're not going to push back. If you're told, "We don't have the budget right now" and have no access to the budget to prove otherwise, there's not much you can do, but there's no reason why you can't ask if you can reassess in six months. Then, spend those six months chronicling every good thing you do so you return with a stack of data that proves you need that raise.”

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“When women negotiate they are often viewed as pushy, but if you think about the way women are viewed at large: we are nurturing, helpful, motherly. Those are all stereotypes, of course, but if you play into them you don't face the same penalties. I struggle with this because I hate the fact that because I am a woman, I am supposed to smile when I go into a negotiation. But it's been shown to work. I shouldn't have to smile, but if doing so means that I am going to get the money and rise in power, then I see it as a necessary evil. Once we're in power, we can have resting b*tch face all day.”

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“Relate your ask to the group at large by using "we" instead of "I." So I might say, "We grew our traffic by X percent this quarter and it was awesome; I brought in X percent of that." It also helps when women make it about collaboration: This is not a battle - you want to work together with the other person to get to a place you are both happy with - so remind them you're trying to come to a mutually beneficial agreement.”

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“One analysis found that every dollar in the opening offer translates to about 50 cents more in the final agreement. So put the first offer on the table and aim high. A friend of mine says, "You should ask for the highest number you can utter without bursting out laughing." Do your research - I talk to people in my industry so I have goal in mind. Women low ball themselves, so if you think you are going way higher than you should, tell yourself that's probably what a man in your position would be asking for.”

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