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K.J. Redelinghuys Biography

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“Whatever your role in the world of depression, know that your smile could be the last smile someone sees, your words can be the last they hear, your touch could be the last they feel; make it memorable. There are so many broken, lost, angry, bitter, sad, and suicidal people in the world. It can be the person standing behind you in the queue who had a miscarriage, the person you walk by in the mall who lost her husband, the person at the traffic light who lost his job, or the colleague who lost their zest for life for no apparent reason. Just be nice. Your niceness could be the boost that adds minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years to people’s lives. Something that requires almost no effort, can forever enrich someone else’s life in unimaginable ways.”

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“Don’t invalidate or belittle the thoughts and feelings of others just because your reality looks different. Remember, it’s easy to yell instructions from the sideline, but it’s a whole different ballgame when you are on the battlefield. Judgment and advice are cheap, but compassion is priceless.”

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“Please don’t blame someone when their mental health declines. It can be tough to judge when one is deteriorating, even after collapsing thousands of times. Signs of decline are not always imminent. Most importantly, please don’t make a person who tried to commit suicide feel bad or guilty. Trust me, they already feel like the scum of the earth.”

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“It pisses me off when people tell me things like ‘it can’t be that bad,’ ‘It’s not the end of the world,’ and ‘think positively.’ It’s not that simple! I don’t think people who are uneducated about depression realize how crap it is to wake up angry or disappointed to be alive. Where there is nothing that makes you excited to get out of bed, your dopamine’s in the gutter and your anhedonia is boss. To battle with suicidal thoughts throughout the night. To slowly and painfully lose everything that gives you the x-factor. A place where food is disgusting and pleasure almost non-existent. Some days it genuinely feels like the end of the world, and trust me, it’s horrifying. It has been equally horrifying for those around me.”

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“So, for those experiencing suicidal thoughts, there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, be ashamed of, or feel guilty about. Please reach out. Getting help does not make you a coward, low-life, attention-seeking, inferior, weak, unworthy, or any other derogatory terms people may spew at you. Being courageous enough to seek help takes superhuman strength. You deserve to feel better.”

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“My message to the ignorant is that we need to abolish all ancient, traditional, and unhelpful mental health beliefs that stem from the media, movies, cultural influences, religion, or gender stereotypes. Beliefs where mental illness in itself is negatively portrayed, as well as the treatment thereof, like going to a psychologist, being admitted to a psychiatric facility, and taking medication. It’s perfectly okay for people from any culture, religious group, gender, or any walk of life to receive mental health treatment. It’s not disgraceful, weakness in character or faith, or taboo.”

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