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Kelley Armstrong

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““I’m going to tell myself that you’re just cranky because Chloe’s at the mall with Tori, and you weren’t allowed to go. I could point out that if you did go, you’d be even crankier, and you’d make everyone miserable. Especially me.” “You wouldn’t have to go.” “Sure I would. I’d need to run interference when Tori asked how a new shirt looked and you told her the truth.” “I’m honest. Honest is good.” “Not when it comes to girls and clothes. You need to gauge their reaction first. If they aren’t happy with it, you suggest they try something else, even if it looked fine. If they love it and it looks like hell, you say it’s not bad and hope they try something else.””

“Of the Phoenix kids, the one Derek got along best with was Daniel. In him, Daniel had found a good sparring partner. And a plotting partner, too. Derek wasn’t just the biggest and strongest in our group. He was also the smartest. Scary, off-the-charts smart. That intimidated Daniel a little at first—he’s bright, but he needs to work for his grades. But Derek wasn’t a show-off or a know-it-all, so they got past that and we would hang out together, the two guys, Chloe, and I planning and plotting our future, bouncing ideas off one another.”

“I opened the bag and pulled out a small box of chocolates. “Happy anniversary.” “Oh. Thanks.” She flashed me a huge smile that would have looked totally real … if I didn’t know her better. “Simon said that’s what I should get you. That or flowers. So you like it?” “Sure.” “Liar.” Her face went bright red now as she stammered, “N-no, really. It’s great. It’s—” “Completely and totally impersonal. Like something you’d buy in bulk for all your teachers.” “No, I like this kind. You know I do and—” She stopped as I held out the bag. “Your real gift,” I said. She looked in and let out a choking laugh. Then, still grinning, she reached in and pulled out a penlight, a Swiss army knife and a purse-sized can of mace. She sputtered another laugh. “This is …” “Practical?” I said. “In my life, it is definitely practical. But I was going to say thoughtful.” She smiled up at me. “The most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten.” “And the most completely unromantic? Simon almost had a heart attack when I showed him. He made me get the chocolates, as a backup.” “I’m sure he did. Which I suppose explains why I ended up with you instead.” She rose on tiptoes again and put her arms around my neck. “Because buying me gifts to keep me safe? That’s my idea of romantic.””

“"I don't know. I spent most of my life moving around. My dad and I had just settled in one place when all this happened. I..." She shrugged. "I guess I'm hoping it doesn't last much longer. I want a home." She glanced over her shoulder. "I know you do, too, even if you don't like to admit it." I thought she was talking to me. Then Derek stepped into the doorway. "He wasn't eavesdropping," she said to me. "He just doesn't like me being alone with strangers in the house." She aimed a pointed look his way. "Even if I end up rescuing him from danger as often as he rescues me."”

“I used to think that once we started going out, Derek would change. When I admitted that to Tori, she nearly laughed herself into an aneurysm and gave me a lecture on the stupidity of expecting to change a guy. Maybe I didn’t have her dating experience, but I knew you didn’t go out with someone because you thought you’d change him. That wasn’t what I’d meant. I liked Derek the way he was. I’d just hoped getting closer would mean landing on the sharp side of his tongue less often.”

“Yeah, I worry what will happen when we stop running. When we go back to school. When she meets other boys. Boys who don’t argue and snap at her. Boys who don’t obsessively worry about her. Boys that could take her to a movie and stay right until the end, not have to leave halfway through because he started turning into a wolf. But she wouldn’t pick up some random guy in the mall. Ever. So why was I over-reacting? I don’t know. I saw the guy and something ignited in my brain, a flash-fire that burned away reason and common sense. If Simon hadn’t stopped me, I’d have made an idiot of myself and called attention to us. Worse, I’d have embarrassed Chloe. I was over-protective enough as it was. Frothing at the mouth because a guy talked to her? Really not going help us get to that next anniversary.”

“Chloe. Always Chloe with him and his brother. I know I sound like a whiny brat when I complain, but I think I have a good reason. I’d just discovered that I was a witch and my mother was a bitch—the murderous kind. I was now on the run with three kids who didn’t want me along. No matter how hard I tried to keep up and help out, the guys only cared about Chloe. If I ran in front of this bus to push her to safety, they’d race to her side to see if she was okay. Probably give me crap for bruising her when I shoved her out of the way.”

“He wet a paper towel, and took my chin, lifting and wiping my face. "Derek? I'm not hurt." "You're covered in blood." "But it's not mine. Honest. It's from—" "The werewolf. I know." He picked up my hand and started cleaning it. "That's why I have to get it off." "Derek?" I leaned down, trying to see his face. "Are you okay?" He kept scrubbing. "There are two ways to become a werewolf. Either you're born or you get bitten by one. If you get saliva in your bloodstream, it's like a virus." "Blood, too?" "Dad says no, it's just saliva. But he could be wrong, and you've got cuts and scrapes and blood all over." I had a few cuts and scrapes, and I was only flecked with blood, but I kept my mouth shut and let him clean. As he did, I tried to check out how badly he was hurt. His scraped cheeks were pitted with gravel. His nose was bloodied. Broken? One eye was already darkening. Was that blood in the corner? His lip was cut and swollen. Were any teeth loose? MIssing? "Stop fidgeting, Chloe." I couldn't help it. His injuries obviously needed more attention than mine, but here was no sense saying anything until he was done. Finally, when he seemed to have scrubbed off every fleck of blood—and a few layers of skin—I said, "Okay, now on to you." "Take off your jacket and sweatshirt." "Derek, I'm clean. Trust me, I've never been this clean." "You've got blood on your cuffs." *** "Okay, now can we take care of the guy that was actually in the fight? There's a lot of blood. It seems to be mostly from your nose." "It is." "You got hit in the chest a few times. How are your ribs?" "Maybe bruised. Nothing critical." "Shirt off." He sighed, like now I was the one fussing too much”

“"Got something for you." He held out an old eight millimeter video camera. "I found it downstairs. It's not working, but I think I can fix it." A video camera? What would I use it for? Recording our great escape? I didn't say that, because I knew it wasn't the point. This was a gift, a way to say "I know I screwed up and I'm sorry." His eyes begged me to take it. Just take it. Forgive him. Forget what happened. Start over. And that's what I wanted to do—accept his gift and smile and see that spark in his eyes and—”

“"Derek?" I called. No answer. I took a few more steps, then called a little louder, "Derek? Are you out here?" A branch snapped in the woods. I pictured Derek, in the middle of a Change, unable to respond, and hurried toward the forest's edge. The noise stopped and I paused at the end of the path leading in, peering into the dark woods, listening. Another snap. Something like a groan. "Derek? It's me." I stepped in. It took only a few paces for the morning light to fade and darkness to envelop me. "Derek?" I jumped as he rounded a corner down the path. I didn't need full daylight to see the expression on his face at all to know I was in trouble, just the set of his shoulders and he long strides as he bore down on me. "I—" I began. "What the hell are you doing, Chloe? I said we'd come out here later and try to contact that ghost. Key word? We. If you're here—" I lifted my hands. "Okay, you caught me. I was sneaking out on my own, hoping no one would notice. That's why I've been calling your name."”

““You were just worried about me.” An exhale, relieved that I understood. “Yeah.” I turned. “Because you think I’m worth it.” He put his fingers under my chin. “I absolutely think you’re worth it.” “But you don’t think you are.” His mouth opened. Shut. “That’s what this is about, Derek. You won’t let us worry about you because you don’t think you’re worth it. But I do. I absolutely do.” I lifted onto my toes, put my hands around his neck, and pulled him down. When our lips met, that first jolt...It was everything I hadn't felt with Simon, everything I'd wanted to feel. His hands went around my waist, pulling me closer— Simon's footsteps thudded through the hall. We jumped apart. "And he says I have lousy timing," Derek grumbled.”

““It’s our three month anniversary.” Her eyes widened in panic. “Today? I thought … I was counting three months from—” “Doesn’t matter.” I paused. “Or I guess it does or we’ll keep getting confused. Can we use today—three months back, I mean?” She smiled. “We can … if you don’t mind getting your gift late.” “I don’t care if I get one at all. Just as long as I keep getting anniversaries.” She blushed and lifted on her tiptoes to kiss me. “You will. For as long as you want them.” Which was pretty much the best present she could give me”

“I glanced in the first open door and stopped short. Desks. Four tiny desks. A wall of faded posters of alphabet animals. A blackboard, still showing the ghost of numbers. I blinked, certain I was seeing wrong. Derek nudged my legs, telling me to get moving. I looked at him, and I looked at the classroom. This was where Derek had grown up. Four tiny desks. Four little boys. Four young werewolves. For a second, I could see them—three boys working at the three clustered desks, Derek alone at the fourth, pushed slightly away, hunched over his work, trying to ignore the others. Derek nudged me again, whining softly, and I looked down to see him eyeing the room, every hair on his neck on end, anxious to get away from this place.”

“Simon appeared at the doorway behind Tori and Derek. He waved to me and mouthed "run while you can." Not a bad idea. I snuck around them and zipped out the door to where Simon waited. Then I glanced back at Tori. "Don't worry about her," he said. "Probably the most fun she's had in days." He led me into the next room. "Sadly, I can't say the same for Derek, and as soon as he stops arguing long enough to notice you're gone—" "Hey!" Derek called. "Where are you two going?" Simon took my elbow and steered me at a jog through the house as Derek's footsteps pounded behind us.”

“"Talk to Simon. He's the one who thinks..." "Thinks what?" Step. Block. "Thinks what?" "That there's someone else," I blurted before I could stop myself. I took a deep, shuddering breath. "He thinks there's someone else." "Who?" I was going to say "I don't know. Some guy from school, I guess." But Derek's expression said he already knew the answer. The look on his face...I'd been humiliated before, having Simon accuse me of liking Derek, but that was nothing compared to how I felt when I saw Derek's look. Not just surprise, but shock. Shock and horror. "Me?" he said. "Simon said he thinks you and I are—" "No, not that. He knows we aren't—" "Good. So what does he think?" "That I like you." Again, the words flew out before I could stop them. This time, I didn't care. I'd completely humiliated myself, and now I was just empty and ashamed. All I wanted was to get him out of my way, and if telling him that made him run in terror, then good. But he didn't run. He just stared at me, and that was worse. I felt like the biggest loser at school, admitting to the coolest guy that she liked him. He stood there gaping like he must have heard me wrong.”

“When I finished, Dr. Fellows said, "And this was a vision you had Corey?" "Right." "Are you sure?" "Huh?" She lowered her voice. "Is it possible that Derek... influenced this vision of yours?" "What? No." "Absolutely not," I said. "Derek's the one who cut it short. Accidentally, but still. And if by influence, you mean 'talked us into telling a lie to get everyone out tonight,' then I don't appreciate the insinuation, Dr. Fellows." Her brows shot up to meet her hairline. Tori smirked and leaned back onto her pillow. "Well, Maya, I don't know you yet, so you'll forgive me if I question you." "I don't blame you. You don't know us. But you do know Derek and, sorry, but persuasion doesn't seem to be the guy's strong suit." "She has a point, Lauren," Tori said. Dr. Fellows shot her a look, which Tori met with a cool gaze. "Also," Tori said, "I really think you'd know your niece better than that. I wouldn't put it past Derek to lie to get us out of here, but no way would Chloe let him pull others into the scheme."”

“I looked over at the others. "Anyone have tree-climbing issues?" Obviously Ash and I didn't. Daniel, Hayley, and Corey said they'd be fine. Chloe hoped she would—she had gymnastics training. Mr. Bae joked that it would be his first time in a couple of decades. Derek said nothing. "Derek?" "It looks like I'll be the guy doing the distracting. I'm not trusting a tree branch to hold me." "You're not playing decoy," Chloe said. She turned to us. "I'm sorry. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but he really can't. The last time we were in a fight against the St. Clouds, the orders were to tranq all of us except Derek. For him, it was shoot to kill. They don't trust werewolves." "I think they've calmed down," Derek said. "They've been watching us for months and haven't tried to assassinate me yet." Chloe put her hands on her hips. "And that's your definition of acceptance? Not going out of their way to kill you?"”

“"I'm staying here," I whispered down. "I'll keep an aerial eye out for trouble." "I'm coming with you," Chloe said. Derek tried to stop her. She said it made sense for her to be in the trees with me in case of a ground attack, and that convinced him. Not that it mattered, I think—she'd have done what she wanted. She obviously didn't take his crap. Still, it would drive me crazy, constantly needing to remind my boyfriend that I could handle myself just fine. My brother was bad enough.”

““Where the hell are you?” he snapped when I answered. “You’re back? Good. So how was—?” “You’re not here.” “Because I’m supposed to be waiting by the gate?” “You know what I mean. Simon said you went to talk to Tori, but you’re not on the property, so I’m really hoping you’re with her.” I glanced at Tori’s back, a half mile away. “Kind of.” “She took off, didn’t she? And you went after her, knowing you aren’t supposed to leave the property unaccompanied.” “Tori needs—” “Tori can look after herself.” “And I can’t?” A growl. He knew better than to answer. Despite my lack of defensive superpowers, I’d gotten myself— and Tori— out of plenty of scrapes. Sometimes, knowing you don’t have the skills to fight can be a bonus. With Tori, overconfidence equals lack of caution and, yes, as Derek would say, common sense. “I’m just going to talk to her,” I said. “I’ll bring her home—” “No, you’ll come back. Right now. That’s an order.” “Well, in that case . . . no.” A louder growl. “Seriously?” I said. “An order? Has that ever worked?” He grumbled something I couldn’t hear and probably didn’t want to. “I’m not kidding, Chloe. Stop running, turn around, and—” “I’ll be back as soon as I catch her. ’Kay? Bye.””

“"I don't suppose you remember where you left your clothing," Daniel murmured to me. Chloe gave a soft laugh. "That's always the problem, isn't it? Okay then. You two go find that. We'll meet you here. Hopefully everyone will be in human form." A wry smile. "Though I'll warn you, he's not a whole lot more pleasant that way. At least as a wolf, he can't talk." The wolf growled, but she only laughed and gave him a pat, then tugged him away as we went to retrieve my clothing.”

“As she did, someone else poked his head in. Rafe. "Maya?" He looked at the other two, then me. "Can we talk?" "Rather not." He lowered his voice. "Please?" "Later," I said. "Just not tonight. Okay?" He nodded and retreated. "Sorry about that," I said when he was gone. "Inconveniently timed relationship angst." "Relationship?" Chloe looked from me to the now-empty doorway. "You and Rafe? Oh, I thought..." She trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind. So you were saying—" "I thought you were with Daniel," Derek cut in. Chloe gave him a look as I inwardly flinched.”

“"If it's a outside deal, how will I get my kids back?" Kit asked. "The Cabals have them." Chloe and Derek's heads both whipped Kit's way. "You're considering this?" Chloe said. "I can get them," Dr. Inglis said. "We'll take Corey now, as a gesture of good faith from you. Then I will take Daniel for your son and Maya for your daughter." "Dad?" Derek said. Kit didn't answer him. He didn't even look over. Chloe looked from us to Kit, her blue eyes wide. "Y-you c-can't—" Derek leaped to his feet. "I won't let you do this, Dad. These kids came to you for help." I gaped at Derek. Even Chloe looked confused. I might have known the guy for less than twenty-four hours, but short of demonic possession, I couldn't imagine him saying that.”

“We ran to the others—it was clear Derek wasn't accepting a leisurely stroll. I took the lead so this huge guy wouldn't come barreling down on them. That wasn't the way anyone needed to wake up. It was still chaos. Derek barked orders. Chloe tried to calm him. When he didn't listen, I snapped that he wasn't helping matters. He snapped back. Ash jumped to my defense, snarling like an alley cat. Daniel intervened to mediate. Derek turned on him. Corey rushed to Daniel's side, fists ready. Rafe braced to join in if a fight broke out. It was fun.”

“I knew Derek didn't lack empathy—he couldn't forget what he'd done to that kid who attacked Simon. But it was like what he held some weird list of checks and balances, and if you got on the wrong side, like Tori had, he had no problem 'kicking you on the curb,' to face whatever fate waited. "No," I said. "It isn't up for negotiation. She's not coming." "Okay." I stood and brushed off my jeans. "Come on, Tori." When Simon rose, I thought he was going to stop me. Instead, he followed me to the door. Tori caught up, and we made it into the next room before Derek jogged out, catching my arm with a wrench that yanked me off my feet. I winced and peeled off his fingers. "Wrong one." He dropped my arm quickly, realizing he'd grabbed my injured one. A long minute of silence, then, "Fine." He turned to Tori. "Three conditions. One, whatever your problem is with Chloe, get over it. Go after her again, you're gone." "Understood," Tori said. "Two, get over Simon. He's not interested." She flushed and snapped, "I think I've figured that out. And number three?" "Get over yourself."”

“She saw Derek and without so much as a hello, leaned to look behind him. "Where's Simon?" "He's—" "Is he okay? Why isn't he here?" She glared up at Derek. "Where'd you leave him?" "Passed out in an alley." Derek frowned in thought. "Not sure where, though ..." "He's kidding," I said as Tori sputtered. "We need to get moving." Derek hooked a thumb as Tori while looking at me. " She's your responsibility." "Excuse me?" Tori said. Derek didn't even glance her way. "Make sure she keeps up. And shuts up."”

“As we sat, Derek pulled a handful of energy bars from his pocket, and gave me one. "Oh, right. You must be starving." Simon reached into his pockets. "I can offer one bruised apple and one brown banana." *** "You guys are weird," Tori said. Simon sat on the crate beside me. "That's right. We are totally weird and completely uncool. Your popularity is plummeting just by being near us. So why don't you—" "Chloe?" Derek interrupted. "How's your arm?" "Her—?" Simon swore under his breath. "Way to keep showing me up. First, food. Now her arm." He turned to me. "How is it?"”

“"I'm not going anywhere. I'm joining your little gang of baby heroes on the quest to find Superdad." Simon and Derek exchanged a look. "No," Derek said. "No? Excuse me, it was Rae who betrayed you guys. Not me. I helped Chloe." "And was it Rae who tormented her at Lyle House?" "Tormented?" A derisive snort. "I didn't—" "You did everything you could to get Chloe kicked out," Simon said. "And when that didn't work, you tried to kill her." "Kill her?" Tori's mouth hardened. "I'm not my mother. Don't you dare accuse—" "You lured her into the crawl space," Derek said. "Hit her over the head with a brick, bound and gagged her, and locked her in. Did you even check to make sure she was okay? That you hadn't cracked her skull?" Tori sputtered a protest, but from the horror in her eyes, I knew the possibility hadn't occurred to her. "Derek," I said, "I don't think—" "No she didn't think. She could have killed you with the brick, suffocated you with the gag, given you a heart attack from fright, not to mention what would have happened if you hadn't gotten out of your bindings. It only takes a couple of days to die from dehydration." "I would never have left Chloe to die. You can't accuse me of that." "No," Derek said. "Just of wanting hr locked up in a mental hospital. And why? Because you didn't like her. Because she talked to a guy you did like. Maybe you're not your mother, Tori. But what you are..." He fixed her with an icy look. "I don't want around." The expression on her face...I felt for her, whether she'd welcome my sympathy or not. "We don't trust you," Simon said, his tone softer than his brother's. "We can't have someone along that we don't trust." "What if I'm okay with it," I cut in. "If i feel safe with her..." "You don't," Derek said. "You won't kick her to the curb, though, because it's not the kind of person you are." He met Tori's gaze. "But it's the kind of person I am. Chloe won't force you to leave because she'd feel horrible if anything happened to you. Me? I don't care. You brought it on yourself."”

“Tears sprang to my eyes. I blinked them back, grabbed some tissue, and started awkwardly trying to daub leftover dye into my pale eyebrows, praying it would make a difference. Through the mirror, I saw Tori walk in. She stopped. "Oh. My. God." It would have been better if she'd laughed. Her look of horror, then something like sympathy, meant it was as bad as I thought. "I told Derek to let me pick the color," she said. "I told him." "Hey," Simon called in. "Everyone decent?" He pushed open the door, saw me and blinked. "It's Derek's fault," Tori said. "He—" "Don't, please," I said. "No more fighting." Simon still shot a glare over his shoulder as Derek pushed open the door. "What?" Derek said. He looked at me. "Huh." Tori hustled me out the door, brushing past the guys with a whispered "jerk" for Derek. "At least now you know never to go dark again," she said as we walked. "A couple years ago, I let a friend dye mine blond. It was almost as bad. My hair felt like straw and..." And so, Tori and I bonded over hair horror stories.”

“Derek stopped short. I smacked into his back—not for the first time, since he insisted on walking in front of me. I'd been tripping on his heels and mumbling apologies the whole way. When I'd slow down to let him get farther ahead, he'd snap at me to keep up. "We're almost there," Simon said. He was behind me—sticking to the curbside, walking as close as Derek. While normally I wouldn't complain about Simon being so close, I had the weird sensation of being blocked in. As we started forward again, I tried dropping back with Tori, who lagged behind, but Simon put his finger on my elbow and steered me back into place. "Okay," I said. "Something's up. What's with the walking blockade?" "They're protecting you," Tori said. "Shielding you from the big bad world."”

“"Now, do I dare ask what you guys are doing hiding out up here? Or is it going to make me jealous?" Simon was smiling as he said it, but Derek glanced away with a gruff "Course not." "So you weren't having another adventure?" Simon lowered himself on my other side, so close he brushed against me, hand resting on mine. "It sure looks like a good spot for one. Rooftop hideaway, old widow's walk. That is what that is, huh? A widow's walk?" "Yeah. And it's rotting, so stay off it," Derek said. "I did. So, adventure?" "A small one," I said. "Oh, man. I always miss them. Okay, break it to me gently."”

“As Simon went to see if Andrew was up, I wandered into the kitchen, where Derek was eyeing a rusty can of beans. "That hungry?" I said. "I will be soon." He prowled the kitchen, flipping open cupboards. "So you don't want me asking Andrew about that kid?" I said. "You trust him, though, right?" "Sure." He took down a box of crackers and turned it over, looking for a 'best before' date. *** "Is he drinking the ketchup yet?" Simon swung into the kitchen. "Ten minutes, bro. Andrew's on his way—”

“"Derek's a good kid, Chloe. He always has been. Responsible, mature...Kit used to joke that, some days, he'd rather have a dozen of Derek than one of Simon. But the wolf is coming out now, and he's struggling with it. I always told KIt..." He exhaled and shook his head. "The point I'm making is that I know Derek seems like a normal kid." Normal? I could have laughed at that. I don't think anyone ever mistook Derek for a normal kid. "But you need to remember that Derek is different. You need to be careful." I was sick and tired of hearing how dangerous Derek was. Different, yes, but no more than a dozen guys I knew from school, guys who stood out, didn't act like everyone else, followed their own rules. He could be dangerous, with his superhuman strength. But how was he any worse than Tori, with her uncontrollable spells? Tori had a track record of trying to hurt me, but no one except the guys had ever warned me away from her. Unlike Tori, Derek was struggling to control his powers. But no one ever recognized that. They didn't see Derek. All they saw was the werewolf.”

“The door slapped shut, sound echoing as Derek marched across the yard, dead on target. I looked around, desperate for an escape route, but there was none. Go forward and deal with Derek, or run back toward Simon and have to deal with both of them. I kept walking. "Where's Simon?" he snapped. Relief washed through me. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I just pointed back to the woods. "He left you? Out here? At night?" "He dropped something," I mumbled, trying to get past him. "He isn't far." Without a sound, he was right in front of me, blocking my path "You're crying?" he said. "No, I—" I tore my gaze away. "Just dust. From the path. Simon's that way." I tried to pass him, but he stooped, trying to get a look at my face. When i wouldn't let him, he caught my chin. I jerked back, flinching at his touch, heart thudding at it, too. I told myself Simon was wrong. I'd never be dumb enough to fall for Derek. But I had. With him so close, my stomach kept doing weird little flips. It wasn't fear. It hadn't been fear for a while. "You've have been crying," he said, voice softer. Then his breath caught, the growl coming back as he snapped, "What did Simon—?" He bit off the words, cheeks reddening like he was embarrassed even to think Simon might be responsible.”

“I grabbed her by the waist and swung her around to face me. As I bent, I closed my eyes … and kissed air as she ducked out of my grasp. I opened my eyes to see her dancing backward along the path. I made a noise in my throat. “Don’t growl,” she said. “Aren’t you always complaining that you don’t get enough exercise?” I lunged. She backed away. I let out another growl and crossed my arms. “Better watch out. I might decide the prize isn’t worth the effort.” She grinned, blue eyes dancing. “Oh, you know it is. And you know it’s never as sweet as when you have to work for it.” She wheeled and ran. As I went after her, adrenaline pumped through me, like liquid fire. There was nothing quite like a chase, and one that ended with this reward was the best chase of all.”

“"It's me," whispered a familiar voice. "Der—" Thwack. He stumbled, Liz behind him, a sturdy branch raised. "Liz, it's—" She hit him again, a home-run swing between the shoulders, and he went down with an oomph and an oath. She recognized the voice—or the curse—and leaned over, getting a look at him. (Liz) "Whoops." (Simon) "I'd say he deserved that, always sneaking up on people."”

““I could use the fresh air. I think that put my brain to sleep.” She pointed at the text as if it was a piece of rotten meat. “Physics?” I said. “You must need a more advanced text.” “No, it’s just boring.” I picked the book up and double checked the title, to make sure I hadn’t misidentified the subject. “Boring?” I said. “How can physics be …?” I looked up to see she’d already left the room. Simon pointed at the text, grinned and faked a yawn. “Hold on,” I said, striding after her. “Physics is not boring. Maybe you just need me to explain it better. Chloe? Chloe!””

“"I put you and Simon in danger just by..." "By being here? And what's the alternative? Take off? Give up on finding your dad? Leave Simon behind?" He blinked. "No, I wouldn't leave...but I feel like..." "Feel like what?" He shook his head, looking away. I walked around in front of him. "Feel like what, Derek? Like you should leave? Like we'd be better off if you did?" He rolled his shoulders in a half shrug, then looked away again. I was right. He just didn't like hearing the thought voiced; it sounded too close to self-pity. "No one is better off if you leave," I said. "Yeah." He mumbled the word, unconvinced. "Simon needs you." I need you. I didn't say that, of course. How could I, without it sounding weird.? But I felt it, heart hammering against my ribs, and it wasn't some romantic I can't bear to be without you nonsense. It was something deeper, more desperate. When I thought of Derek leaving, the ground seemed to slide under my feet. I needed something to hold on to, something solid and real when everything around me was changing so fast. Even if there were times I thought it would be easier without Derek there, ready to tear a strip off me at my every misstep, in some ways I relied on that—someone to keep me thinking, keep me striving to do better, keep me from burying my head and praying it all worked out. When he turned away, he must have seen it on my face. As fast as I tried to cover it up, it wasn't fast enough, and when he looked at me, the way he looked at me...”

“"We're your official search party," Tori said. Complete with bloodhound." She waved at Derek, who was brushing off his jeans. "I left a note," I said to Derek. "I told you whee I was going and what was doing." "He got it," Simon said. "Didn't matter." Derek glowered. "You think leaving a note makes it okay to do something—" "Don't say stupid," I warned. "Why not? It was stupid." Simon winced and murmured, "Ease off, bro." "That's okay," I said. "I'm used to it." I looked up at Derek. He wavered for a second, then crossed his arms, jaw setting. "It was stupid," he said. Risky and dangerous. Those guys could be out here with guns—"”

“After a few moments of silence, he said, "Why don't you come over here? More comfortable than the chair. Warmer, too, closer to the radiator." "I'm fine." "Hard to talk to you over there, across the room." He moved down to the end of the couch, though there'd already been plenty of room. He put his arm along the back. He tried for a smile and didn't really manage it, but my heart still did a little flip. He’s sorry, Chloe. He really is a sweet guy. Don’t be a bitch about this. And don’t screw it up. Just go over there. Give him a chance and, in no time, you’ll forget everything else. And that’s exactly why I stayed in my chair. I didn’t want to forget everything else, or the next thing I knew, he’d be back on that roof, putting his life in danger. “You don’t get to do this,” I said finally. “Do what?” He asked the question innocently enough, but his gaze dipped slightly. “I”m sorry. That’s what I’m trying to say, Chloe. That I’m sorry.” “For what?” He looked up, confused. “Making you mad.””

““You still taking him for his house-breaking lesson tonight?” I flicked an eraser at him. He ducked it and threw me a grin. While I was getting my Changes under control, we’d decided I should try once a week. While Simon was joking about house-breaking, that’s kind of what it was like—take me outside regularly, where I’d attempt to perform a bodily function, and hopefully train my body to do it on a schedule. So far, I felt like a month-old puppy, struggling to control my bladder before it was ready to be controlled.”

“He moved into the moonlight. That was no accident. He wanted me to see his eyes burning with fever, his skin flushed, hair sweat soaked. He wanted me to say, "Oh, you're Changing," leap out of bed, and insist on going outside with him, help him through it, a I had the last two times. I looked at him and I lay back down. He stepped froward. "Chloe.." "What?" "It's...It's starting again." "I see that." I sat up, swung my legs out of bed, and stood. He breathed a sigh of relief. I walked to the window. "Head down that path about thirty feet, and you'll find a clearing to the left. That should be a good place." A spark of panic ignited in his eyes. After how he'd treated me today, I should have said "good." But i didn't. Couldn't. It took everything I had to just crawl back into bed.”