Quotessence
Home / Authors / Laura Kreitzer

Laura Kreitzer Quotes

Author

Filter quotes by topic

AllYaDystopianTimeless SeriesFantasyFictionRomanceSummer ChroniclesYoung AdultBurning FallsHumorAngelsScience FictionLoveLaura KreitzerGabriella MorettiScifiFallen LegionJoseph CarterNovellaKeepers

Famous Laura Kreitzer Quotes

“I’m not your boyfriend!” I snapped, trying to gently move her hands away from my body. “How can you say that?” Sara asked in horror. “It’s shockingly effortless,” I replied. “My vocal chords vibrate, and my mouth and tongue articulate. I can even do it without thinking.” I had to remind myself to stay calm, and sarcasm was the best way to do that. “When are you going to give me a key to your house so I don’t have to knock like some guest?” Sara asked, coming at me again. I backed away. “How about never? Is never good for you?” Sara, undeterred, said, “You’re the reason I go to therapy on Fridays.” “The plot thickens!” Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief.”

HumorFunnyFictionFantasyYaKeepersNovellaTimeless SeriesGabriella MorettiJoseph Carter
Book:Keepers
Create image

“I had this guy’s file pulled this morning, along with the rest of your neighbors. His name is Desperado.” Pause. A few seconds passed. He was waiting for my reaction. “Did you say Desperado?” I couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that bubbled to the surface. “Yeah,” the Director confirmed. “He changed his name when he turned eighteen. It was Melvin.” I was still laughing. “’Cause Desperado is so much better than Melvin.”

HumorFictionFantasyYaAngelsKeepersNovellaTimeless SeriesJoseph CarterTom Morris
Book:Keepers
Create image

“Jules lips quivered, and I feared she was about to cry. Then she asked, “He bit off more than he could chew, didn’t he?” She made a motion as if she was biting into a tough piece of steak. Gabriella’s lips sealed shut as she tried to hide her grin, though she failed at it when Andrew asked, “Was he eating?” He turned desperately to Gabriella, confused. Jules wasn’t about to cry, she was trying not to laugh! She giggled then, the sound tinkling and odd in the outlandish setting. Andrew straightened and shook his head at Gabriella. “Did you see him eat?”

HumorFictionFantasyYaAngelsKeepersNovellaTimeless SeriesGabriella MorettiJoseph CarterJules Freeman
Book:Keepers
Create image

“Joseph, you’re out of clean towels.” Lucia poked her head into the living room, the rest of her hidden behind the wall. Her red hair dripped water onto my wooden floors. “She’s in the buff.” Jenna guffawed. Gabriella rolled her eyes, beaming. I rose. “Go back to the bathroom. I’ll bring you a towel,” I ordered Lucia. She disappeared down the hall. “You have naked angels running around your house,” Jenna continued through her laughter. Gabby laughed louder.”

HumorFictionFantasyYaAngelsKeepersNovellaTimeless SeriesGabriella MorettiJoseph CarterJenna Moretti
Book:Keepers
Create image

“I tapped around on my new Miracle Phone—a gift from Joseph—as I listened to the discussion about our next move. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I’d recently become addicted to this one game on my Miracle Phone. Really, I was listening. I could multitask like no other. Trust me, there’s an app for that.”

HumorFictionFantasyYoung AdultYaAngelsTimeless SeriesGabriella MorettiFallen LegionJoseph CarterMiracle Phone
Book:Fallen Legion
Create image

“Every Forsaken in a mile radius can probably hear you. You’re just asking for trouble if you two don’t stop whipping out the measuring stick.” “It’s his fault,” Avery snaps, pointing at Julian. “Shut up, ya wanker.” They start in on each other again. They yell as if they both have megaphones to their mouths, standing inches apart. Each vulgar insult is more illogical than the last.”

HumorYoung AdultYaDystopianScifi
Book:Burning Falls
Create image

“When the nurse leaves, Doctor Rose mouths, “Act like you’re in pain.” Then she mimics a painful expression in case Summer doesn’t understand. On the contrary, Summer’s an expert at interpreting body language and reading lips. It’s all thanks to her observant nature while enslaved on the Cosmos. Who else could tell that Peter’s discomfort is due to him wearing the same pair of underwear for a week straight? Ah, yes, she always knew when day six and seven approached. She watched the crew member with much amusement as he waddled, pulled wedgies, and scratched his bum relentlessly. Not that anyone else cared to know that little nugget of information.”

HumorScience FictionDystopianScifiSummer ChroniclesLaura KreitzerPhantom UniverseForsaken Harbor
Book:Forsaken Harbor
Create image

“I’ll stab him,” offers Jaden as she makes a stabbing motion. “You expect me to play along?” Rob scoffs, gripping his arm protectively. “Pretty much,” replies Landon earnestly. “You’re serious?” “As a heart attack.” “No,” argues Rob. “I’m not going to let Jaden—or anyone else—skewer me.” He’s greeted with an amused silence. “Bleedin’ crime is what it is,” he mutters. “Why can’t someone else go all noble sacrifice-y? It’s because I’m English, ain’t it?”

HumorScifiSummer ChroniclesLaura KreitzerForsaken Harbor
Book:Forsaken Harbor
Create image

“I like to eat chicken, but I don’t like live chickens. With their feathers and beaks and weird noises and flapping wings.” He visibly shivers, then points above his right eye. “How’d you think I got this scar?” “I thought you said your sister threw something at you when you were a kiddie.” Rob gives him a meaningful look. “A chicken?” Rob points at his scar again. “Them things are no joke.”

HumorChickensDystopianScifiSummer ChroniclesBurning Falls
Book:Burning Falls
Create image

“Gabby,” Jenna cried. “It’s so horrible. I can’t believe this happened.” “Jenna,” I said in a soothing voice, “I’m alive and okay. No worries.” She sniffled into the phone. “No, it’s not that.” I waited a beat. “What?” “The bridesmaid dresses are all wrong!” she wailed. “Wait a second,” I said. “You aren’t upset over my being dead for four days?” “I knew you’d be fine,” she explained, brushing off the subject. “But these dresses? I don’t know what to do. They’re the wrong color, and they’re hideous!” She went into a hysterical fit of tears.”

HumorFantasyParanormalTimelessTimeless SeriesLaura KreitzerFallen Legion
Author:Laura Kreitzer
Create image

“So if I asked you to wear my skirt and juggle my high heels, you would?” I joked. I could only see Andrew's face in profile, but a grin overtook his earlier grim expression, and he laughed. “I draw the line at wearing women’s clothing.” “Are you sure?” I whispered seductively, nibbling on his earlobe. “That’s cheating,” he said, his breath hitching. I kissed down his neck. “If all else fails, I’ll never rule out using my womanly wiles.” “I refuse to be used as a pawn by my devious lover,” he countered, grinning. I abruptly pulled away from him. “Ah, well, it never hurts to try.”

HumorFictionFantasyParanormalTimeless SeriesLaura KreitzerFallen Legion
Book:Fallen Legion
Create image

“It took me several minutes to persuade myself to watch the news. During which time I gave myself a stern talking to. That turned into me considering a local pub that would be the perfect place to drown my sorrows in a barrel of tequila, though after much introspection, I scratched the idea just to avoid needless drunken embarrassment. Then, admittedly, I contemplated pouncing Andrew for another steamy romp session. Despite its proven potency to assuage stress and tension, I decided now was not the time to indulge in explosive sexcapades.”

HumorFictionFantasyParanormalAngelsTimeless SeriesLaura KreitzerFallen Legion
Book:Fallen Legion
Create image

“Firen didn’t waste any time setting up the meeting with Egnatious. The following day she was in such a rush to tell me about it that she burst into my room without knocking and found Andrew and me in an intimate and compromising position reminiscent of the game Twister. Also, I cannot confirm or deny if there was food involved. Let’s just say I toppled over in embarrassment, taking Andrew down with me in a great heap. Firen didn’t fare any better, as she nearly knocked herself out when she ran into the doorframe in an attempt to escape. We were both scarred for life, especially after Firen apologized for walking in on our “naked fun time,” which was apparently what Joseph called it. There were some things people should never know, and that was one of them.”

HumorSexFictionFantasyParanormalTimelessAngelsLaura KreitzerFallen Legion
Book:Fallen Legion
Create image

“Mmm.” Sebastian moaned. “It’s so delicious.” He laughed then. “It’s not the Poisonous Desert; it’s the Oreo Desert.” He scooped up handfuls of dirt and stones and funneled it into his mouth. He licked his palms, his teeth grinding against rock. “Did the plant scramble his brains?” Firen asked, her lips twitching just a smidgen. “The plant’s poison makes you delusional,” Gabriella informed as Egnatious and Firen yanked Sebastian to his feet. “He’ll probably be a bit Looneyville for a while.”

HumorRomanceFictionFantasyParanormal RomanceAngelsTimeless SeriesLaura Kreitzer
Book:Key of Pearl
Create image

“What are you doing?” Egnatious asked, eyebrows furrowed as he watched Gabriella do a flip. Firen mimicked Gabriella and turned to Egnatious. “Fun times. Go with it.” She didn’t even crack a smile, though her body language said she was laughing on the inside. Instead of following their act, Egnatious simply dove for an outcrop just as it began moving away. He nearly lost his balance, but Firen caught his flailing arms. “Are you having a seizure or something?” she jested, displaying a rare vein of humor. Egnatious sent her a queasy glare.”

HumorFictionFantasyParanormal RomanceAngelsTimeless SeriesParanormal FantasyLaura KreitzerKey Of Pearl
Book:Key of Pearl
Create image