“We do not have to do with others as "they really are" but with our idea of them. This means that the experience of loss occurs both when we really lose someone and when this someone, for whatever reason, no longer corresponds to the idea we had of him. It is an inner grief just as strong and from which we often defend ourselves, as long as we can, through denial. Denial ends when the energy needed to deny becomes superior to what it takes to process the loss and move on.” PainGriefSelf Deception Author:Luigina Sgarro
“I once suggested to one of my patients that she should have a small funeral ceremony to bury the idea she had of a certain person, because she kept chasing that image even in the face of substantial evidence of its actual nonexistence. Then I asked her to prepare a small headstone to honor, in private. Not all the dead are really dead or were really alive, but that does not make parting with them a lesser loss.” DeathLossGriefSorrowDisappointmentGrief And Loss Author:Luigina Sgarro
“I do not believe that grief unites, pain is a unique experience, in its intensity, in its expression, in its mixture with other emotions, other feelings, with one's history, with one's hopes and despairs. That is why one can never really say: I join in your pain, or understand your pain. Other people's pain cannot be fully understood, it isolates, it divides. Grief is one of the most intimate experiences of the human being. That is why it is also useless to say 'leave me alone with my sorrow': with pain we are always alone.” PainUnderstandingGriefLonelinessCommunicationSorrowIsolation Author:Luigina Sgarro