“We do not have to do with others as "they really are" but with our idea of them. This means that the experience of loss occurs both when we really lose someone and when this someone, for whatever reason, no longer corresponds to the idea we had of him. It is an inner grief just as strong and from which we often defend ourselves, as long as we can, through denial. Denial ends when the energy needed to deny becomes superior to what it takes to process the loss and move on.” PainGriefSelf Deception Author:Luigina Sgarro
“The fact that pain is sometimes necessary to stay alive is something we accept much more easily when it comes to avoiding the death of our body than when it comes to avoiding the death of our soul.” LifeSoulPainDeathSuffering Author:Luigina Sgarro
“There's no absolute scale of pain, there's no platinum-iridium pain meter preserved in some museum. There is no suffering that is great enough that we can be proud of as if it were a medal, or too small, that we should be ashamed, as if it were a whim. What devastates us is not what is happening around us but what is stirring within us and towards which we feel unprotected.” PainSufferingShame Author:Luigina Sgarro
“Sometimes we are more attached to the pain than the pain is attached to us.” PainSuffering Author:Luigina Sgarro
“I do not believe that grief unites, pain is a unique experience, in its intensity, in its expression, in its mixture with other emotions, other feelings, with one's history, with one's hopes and despairs. That is why one can never really say: I join in your pain, or understand your pain. Other people's pain cannot be fully understood, it isolates, it divides. Grief is one of the most intimate experiences of the human being. That is why it is also useless to say 'leave me alone with my sorrow': with pain we are always alone.” PainUnderstandingGriefLonelinessCommunicationSorrowIsolation Author:Luigina Sgarro