“I would never kill myself intentionally. I couldn't do that to my family, my friends ... But to have fate step in and give me a shove, that's a different matter. Then I have the exit, without the guilt. I am ashamed of myself for thinking like this. But more than anything, I am frightened that it makes me feel so much better to think about it. Sometimes it eases the terror, the sense that I am condemned eternally to this hell.” ThinkingGivingFeelsDifferentSometimesMatterStepsHellFateMy FriendsMy FamilyGive MeGuiltTerrorEaseAshamedFrightenedSuicidalExit Author:Martha Manning
“I always feel bad laughing at people who act crazy. But sometimes the things they do are so damned funny. I wonder what I'd look like if I slipped a few notches on the mental-health index.” PeopleIfsFeelsLooksSometimesWonderLaughingCrazyDepressionMental HealthIllnessMental IllnessNotches Author:Martha Manning
“I'm getting less good at faking it. People in my family are noticing and asking what's wrong. My friends give me invitations to talk, to cry. I love them for their caring, but I want to run from it. I have lost their language, their facility with words that convey feelings. I am in new territory and feel like a foreigner in theirs.” PeopleWantGivingFeelsFeelingsRunningLostLanguageCryDepressionMy FriendsMy FamilyGive MeAskingIllnessCaringMental IllnessTerritoryInvitationsFacilityForeignersNoticingFaking ItNew Territory Author:Martha Manning
“The images are visual, auditory, olfactory, kinesthetic. They aren't laid down on the same tracks as thought. And sometimes, when they return to you, it is as if you feel them for the very first time. Memory lives on in the details, like the color of a room, a tone of a voice, the touch of a child, the smell of a man.” IfsMenFeelsFirstsChildrenSometimesVoiceMemoriesRoomsColorReturnFirst TimeTrackDetailsSmellToneVisualsAuditory Author:Martha Manning
“I should come with a consumer warning, like the labels that say "Handle with care" or "May be hazardous to your health." I am unfit for human consumption. I struggle to articulate how awful and isolating this feels, but I can't find the words.” FeelsShouldHumansMayI CanCareStruggleHandleAwfulLabelsConsumersWarningConsumptionHandle With Care Author:Martha Manning