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“Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn't want the nicotine, he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother. If he inhaled slowly enough, he could almost taste the ghost of gasoline and fire. It was at once revolting and comforting, and it sent a sick shudder down the spine. [...] He glanced up at the sky, but the stars where washed out behind the glare of stadium lights. He wondered - not for the first time - if his mother was looking down at him. He hoped not. She'd beat him to hell and back if she saw him sitting around, moping like this.”

“Why?" Coach Wymack was quiet for a minute. "Did you think I made the team the way it is because I thought it would be a good publicity stunt? It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you." Neil had heard Wymack referred to as an idealistic idiot by more than one person, but it was hard to listen to him and not believe that he was sincere. Neil was torn between incredulity and disdain. Why Wymack set himself up for disappointment time and time again, Neil didn't know. Neil would have given up on the Foxes years ago.”

“He reached over and picked a ball out of the bucket, turning it over and over his fingers. "Court," Neil whispered, then gave himself a violent shake. He squeezed the ball until his fingers ached, mentally retracing his steps backward. [...] He took it one step and one mile and one day at a time because anything else was too much for him to handle in his grief. Neil stared at the court in front of him and swallowed once, twice, against the nausea that was crawling up his throat. This was why Wymack's contract, Kevin's lofty ambitions, and Andrew's words meant nothing in the end. It didn't matter what they offered or promised him. Neil wasn't like them. He was nothing and no one, and he always would be. Court wasn't for people like him. He'd take what he could learn and enjoy it while he could, but this was a dream he'd have to wake up from eventually. Wanting anything more than that would just make it harder to walk away.”

“Mi fai schifo." "Da che pulpito," ribatté Cathy. "Tu sei una puttana tanto quanto me." Quando si volse Dan afferrò l'orlo della sua maglietta con entrambe le mani, se la tolse in un gesto fluido insieme al reggiseno sportivo e s'indicò il petto nudo. "O mio dio, vedi queste? Si chiamano tette. E' questo che mi rende una puttana? Questo?" Dan fece scattare una mano tra di loro e Cathy si mosse sulla sedia, a disagio. "Questo è quello che faccio. Io mi spoglio. Io ballo. Lavoro su un palco cinque notti la settimana. Ballo la lap dance per dei viscidi che sono incapaci di prendere l'iniziativa da soli. Ma non lascio che mi tocchino e riesco comunque a guadagnare abbastanza da permetterci di restare a galla. Vaffanculo! Ho diciassette anni! Sono troppo giovane per farti da madre!" "Nessuno ti ha mai chiesto di farlo..." "Ma io ti ho chiesto di esserlo per me. Grazie per aver fallito in maniera così spettacolare.”

“It didn't matter how much he liked being Neil Josten. He'd stayed here too long as it was. Neil should be used to this by now. He'd spent the last eight years on the run, spinning lie after lie to leave a twisted trail behind him. Twenty-two names stood between him and the truth, and he knew what would happen if anyone finally connected the dots. Signing with a college team meant more than standing still. It meant he'd be stepping into a spotlight. [...] The math was simple, but that didn't make this any easier. That contract was a one-way ticket to a future, something Neil could never have, and he wanted it so badly he ached. For a blinding moment he hated himself for ever trying out for Millport's team. He'd known better than to step on a court. [...] But what else was he supposed to do? [...] This was the only thing he had left that was real. Now that he'd had a taste of it again, he didn't know how to walk away from it.”

“After a moment's debate, Neil shrugged his bag off his shoulder. The thought of leaving it behind made his skin crawl, considering what was hidden inside it, but he didn't trust Andrew's intentions. [...] "Do you have someplace safe I can hide this?" he asked. [...] Wymack looked ad Neil again. "How safe is safe?" Neil had never been an easy read before, but then, he'd never let the situation get so completely out of hand, either. [...] Neil had fumbled his way through his transition to Millport, but he could have cut and run at any time if he didn't like the way things were going. This, he desperately wanted to make work, for however long he could hold onto it. "It's all I have," Neil said [...]. Neil looked down at the key in his palm, at the security Wymack so easily and unquestioningly gave him. Maybe Neil wouldn't get any sleep tonight, and maybe he'd spend the next couple weeks waking up every time Wymack snored a little too loud, but maybe Neil really was okay here for now. "Thank you," he said. "Move along," Wymack said.”

“It's not the end of the world if we lose," Francis said. "Don't lose sleep over it." She hated that about him - his willingness to accept a loss before it had even happened. It was his way of consoling his team, she guessed: he believed it was better to expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised than to be crushed by an unexpected loss. Dan thought a coach had no right to be so pessimistic. She didn't want a coach who softened the blow. She wanted a coach who believed in the impossible. "I can't afford to lose," she told him. "I need to make it to finals if I'm to catch a recruiter's eye." "Danielle, I need you to understand something." "I'm good," Dan insisted. "I'm more than good enough to make the cut." "You're very talented..." "Don't patronize me, Coach." "You're amazing," he said, "but it's not enough to be good. You're a girl." "That means nothing." "That means everything. Maybe it's not fair, but it's a fact. Men are faster and stronger. They can hit harder and throw further. Nothing you do can change that bias. If a coach can choose between a man and a woman, he will choose the man every time." "There are plenty of women playing for college teams." "I didn't say there aren't women," Francis said. "I'm saying they're the exception.”

“Non è mica la fine del mondo se perdiamo," disse Francis. "Non perderci il sonno." Era questo ciò che odiava di lui - il suo accettare la sconfitta ancora prima che fosse avvenuta. Era il suo modo di consolare il team, supponeva: lui era convinto fosse meglio aspettarsi il peggio e rimanere piacevolmente sorpresi piuttosto che rimanere devastati da una sconfitta inaspettata. Dan pensava che un allenatore non avesse alcun diritto di essere così pessimista. Lei non voleva un allenatore in grado di indorarle la pillola. Ne voleva uno che credesse nell'impossibile. "Non posso permettermi di perdere," gli disse Dan. "Devo arrivare alle finali se spero di attirare l'attenzione di un reclutatore." "Danielle, voglio che tu comprenda una cosa." "Io sono brava," insistette Dan. "Lo sono abbastanza da superare la selezione." "Tu hai molto talento..." "Non sia condiscendente con me, Coach." "Tu sei straordinaria," le disse, "ma essere bravi non è sufficiente. Tu sei una ragazza." "Non significa niente." "Significa tutto, invece. Forse non è giusto, ma così stanno le cose. Gli uomini sono più veloci e hanno più forza. Possono colpire più duramente e lanciare più lontano. E nulla potrà cambiare questo pregiudizio. Se un allenatore fosse costretto a scegliere tra un uomo e una donna, sceglierebbe sempre l'uomo." "Ci sono diverse donne che giocano in squadre universitarie." "Non ho detto che non ci sono," obiettò Francis. "Ho detto che loro sono l'eccezione.”

“Neil watched the door close behind him, then sent a questioning look at Matt. Matt was studying him with a curious intensity. "Why are you so special?" Matt asked. "I'm not," Neil said, confused. "Andrew doesn't give ground to anybody. Why does he keep saying yes to you?" "He's high," Neil said, twirling a finger near his temple. "He thinks it's funny." Matt eyed him a bit longer, then shook his head and relaxed against the back of the couch again.”

“Before I forget, Andrew said I could invite you to the Halloween party at Eden's Twilight. It's on the twenty-seventh." Matt dropped his sandwich back to his plate with a splat. "Bullshit." "Andrew doesn't socialize with us," Dan said. "He's making an exception," Neil said. [...] "How the hell did you talk Andrew into this?" Dan asked, staring at Neil. "I asked," Neil said. "And he agreed just like that?" Matt asked, skeptical.”

“Neil held on as fiercly as he could; so did Riko. Riko pulled Neil close one last time before the crowd ripped them away from one another, long enough for him to say, „You just cost him something he didn’t want to lose.“ […] He fought the crowd as best as he could, trying to break through and get his hands on Riko again. Somehow he made it close enough again to grab Riko’s sleeve. „You even fucking think about touching him-”

“I was glad when he lost his hand. Exy is all he has and all he loves; I knew it would destroy him to lose it. A month in the nest without it, maybe two, and he would have no recourse but to kill himself. I was only alive because he made me promise to survive. If he died, who could hold me to that? I would have slashed the tires on his car before I let him escape us, and he knows it.”

“A knife at his throat; cruel fingers in his hair. "Queers do not belong on my perfect Court. I will bleed this out of him within a week." Stupid, beautiful Kevin had tried his best to defend him. After all, he was blindingly obsessed with the Trojans; it was reasonable to assume Jean would also find a Big Three team captivating. He'd only dug Jean's grave deeper with that argument. Riko hadn't even known Jeremy was a factor then - it wasn't the Trojans he'd caught Jean staring at with such unsubtle and idiotic devotion. Riko hadn't wasted his breath correcting Kevin, not wanting to give him any more reasons to protect their worthless third wheel. Jean hadn't tried either; what good would it do to confess to such an oblivious fool?”

“Aaron opened his mouth, closed it again, and fixed Nicky with an annoyed look. "You're explaining this to Andrew when he gets back." "Oh, hell no," Nicky said, and jerked a thumb at Neil. "I'mma leave that one to him. Thanks for taking one for the team, Neil. You're a real friend." Nicky grinned over at Neil, but his amusement didn't last. He seemed confused by whatever he saw on Neil's face and backpedaled with, "Don't worry, we'll send Renee along with you for backup. Last I checked Andrew only wins half their fights, so you might actually survive. Uh. Neil?" He should just let it go, or at least leave it to think about later, but Neil couldn't resist. "Are we?" he asked, because hadn't Betsy said it just a few days ago? He hadn't understood it then and hadn't even tried, too angry and upset over everything else that was happening. Tonight it almost meant something, though what, Neil didn't know. Realizing Nicky couldn't follow his twisting train of thought, Neil forced himself to say, "Friends?" It was like that one word punched all the joy out of Nicky, but the look that crossed Nicky's face next was too fast for Neil to decipher. Nicky's smile was back a second later, but it didn't reach his eyes. Neil might have apologized, except Nicky reached out and scrubbed a gloved hand through Neil's hair. "You are going to be the absolute death of me," Nicky said. "Yeah, kid. We're friends. You're stuck with us, like it or not.”

“Neil looked up, ready to turn Nicky down, but Andrew had come up beside Nicky in the doorway. Neil looked at him and thought about Nicky's worried appeal last fall, the warning that one day Exy wouldn't be enough on its own. It could be a safe haven from his thoughts and a reason to get up and the inspiration to fight harder. It could mean the world to him, but it couldn't be everything. It couldn't fill in the broken pieces of him the way the Foxes did. It wouldn't drop everything to get him from the airport or come back for him without question or call him "friend". Neil built his life around Exy after his mother died because he needed something to live for, but Neil wasn't alone anymore.”