“Its almost as if he's been hit on the dead with a cricket bat,' observed Samantha. 'It's worse then that,' said Nanny Piggins. 'When you hit someone on the head with a cricket bat, the sharp pain and the flowing blood let them know something is wrong. But then a man is dazzled by a beautiful woman, he doesn't realise he has gone temporarily insane. The opposite happens. He suddenly thinks he is the funniest, cleverest man ever to walk on earth. Really, when single men start dating they should all be locked up in lunatic asylums.” HumorDatingNanny Piggins Book:Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan Source: Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan
“Hello Mrs Cannon,' said Melanie. 'Friday wants me to distract you so that she can get Parker to say something that isn't on his official scripts.' 'Really?' said Mrs Cannon. 'That sounds intriguing. Much more intriguing than this unspeakably boring polo match. Why don't you pretend to sprain your ankle, then I could pretend to be concerned?' 'Okay,' said Melanie. 'Does that mean I can lie down?' 'I wouldn't dream of trying to stop you,' said Mrs Cannon. 'I just wish I could do the same.' 'You could say you had a fainting spell,' suggested Melanie. 'What a good idea,' said Mrs Cannon. 'If you've got a sprained ankle and I have a fainting spell, then we can both have a nice rest on the grass.' 'The Headmaster can't complain about that,' said Melanie as they both made themselves comfortable. 'Of course not,' said Mrs Cannon. 'If he did I'd report him to my union.” UnionsExcusesTeachersSportFriday Barnes Book:Big Trouble Source: Big Trouble
“Samantha,' said Nanny Piggins, 'make a note. We will have to give Samson a blood transfusion after afternoon tea.” HumorNanny Piggins Book:The Nanny Piggins Guide to Conquering Christmas Source: The Nanny Piggins Guide to Conquering Christmas
“PhD students are the academic world's version of indentured slaves. The only reason they get away with it is because the students all have Stockholm Syndrome, plus they're under the misapprehension that a PhD is actually worth something.” StudentsHumourProfessorsSlavesStockholm SyndromePhd Students Book:Big Trouble Source: Big Trouble