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Rachel Naomi Remen

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“I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention And especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don't value ourselves or our love enough to know this.”

PeopleIfsKnowsWayNeedsGivingHeartPersonsImportantEnoughCareValuesGivenUnderstandingPowerfulAttentionTalkingCommunicationImportant ThingsCaringSuspectsOur LoveJust Listen
Book:Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, 10th Anniversary Edition
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“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.”

WayLoveInspirationalGivingWellsPersonsImportantPowerfulAttentionSilenceAwarenessListeningImportant ThingsHealSilence IsJust ListenListening To OthersKitchen Table
Book:Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, 10th Anniversary Edition
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“Listening is the oldest and perhaps the most powerful tool of healing. It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of our words that we are able to effect the most profound changes in the people around us. When we listen, we offer with our attention an opportunity for wholeness. Our listening creates sanctuary for the homeless parts within the other person. That which has been denied, unloved, devalued by themselves and others. That which is hidden.”

PeoplePersonsHas BeensAbleOpportunityPowerfulHealingAttentionQualityEffectsListeningOffersToolsProfoundMost PowerfulDeniedWholenessHomelessSanctuaryOur WordsUnloved
Book:Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, 10th Anniversary Edition
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“One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story people often interrupted her to tell her that they once had something just like that happen to them. Subtly her pain became a story about themselves. Eventually she stopped talking to most people. It was just too lonely. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care. Many people with cancer talk about the relief of having someone just listen.”

PeopleKnowsStoriesHappensCarePainMovingAttentionTalkingFocusListeningLonelyPatientCancerReliefInterruptedJust ListenStory PeoplePeople With Cancer
Author:Rachel Naomi Remen
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“For many years now I have listened to the stories of people with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses as their counselor. From them I have learned how to enjoy the minute particulars of life once again, the grace of a hot cup of coffee, the presence of a friend, the blessing of having a new cake of soap or an hour without pain. Such humble experience is the stuff that many of the very best stories are made of. If we think we have no stories it is because we have not paid enough attention to our lives. Most of us live lives that are far richer and more meaningful than we appreciate.”

PeopleIfsThinkingYearsMadeEnoughStoriesPainStuffEnjoyHoursAttentionGraceOur LivesMinutesPerspectiveBlessingAppreciatePaidHotCancerIllnessHumbleCoffeeMeaningfulCupsLive LifeCakeI Have LearnedThreateningSoapCoffee CupCounselorWithout PainPeople With Cancer
Author:Rachel Naomi Remen
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“God's presence. . . is an inner experience that never changes. It's a relationship that's there all the time, even when we're not paying attention to it. Perhaps the Infinite holds us to Itself in the same way the earth does. Like gravity, if it ever stopped we would know it instantly. But it never does.”

IfsKnowsWayDoeGodEarthAttentionInfinitePay AttentionGravityNever ChangeGod's Presence
Book:Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, 10th Anniversary Edition
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“Life offers its wisdom generously. Everything teaches. Not everyone learns. Life asks of us the same thing we have been asked in every class: "Stay awake." "Pay attention." But paying attention is no simple matter. It requires us not to be distracted by expectations, past experiences, labels, and masks. It asks that we not jump to early conclusions and that we remain open to surprise.”

Has BeensMatterPastAsksSimplePayAttentionClassTeachAwarenessOffersExpectationsSurpriseConclusionLabelsPay AttentionAwakeMaskDistractedPast Experiences
Author:Rachel Naomi Remen
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“A woman once told me that she did not feel the need to reach out to those around her because she prayed every day. Surely, this was enough. But a prayer is about our relationship to God; a blessing is about our relationship to the spark of God in one another. God may not need our attention as badly as the person next to us on the bus or behind us in line in the supermarket. Everyone in the world matters, and so do their blessings. When we bless others, we offer them refuge from an indifferent world.”

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Author:Rachel Naomi Remen
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“Unexplained pain may sometimes direct our attention to something unacknowledged, something we are afraid to know or feel. Then it holds us to our integrity, claiming the attention we withhold. The thing which calls our attention may be a repressed experience or some unexpressed and important part of who we are. Whatever we have denied may stop us and dam the creative flow of our lives. Avoiding pain, we may linger in the vicinity of our wounds, sometime for many years, gathering the courage to experience them.”

KnowsFeelsYearsMayImportantSometimesPainAttentionCreativeOur LivesIntegrityFlowDirectWoundsWho We AreDeniedAvoidingGatheringRepressedDamsUnexplainedVicinityAvoiding Pain
Author:Rachel Naomi Remen
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