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Shalom Auslander Quotes

Author

Shalom Auslander is an American author born in 1970. Known for his satirical and humorous style, his works delve into issues of personal identity, religion, and morality.

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All World Causes Disease Enough Optimism Anguish Anomalies Bad Things Believer Bird

Famous Shalom Auslander Quotes

“So desperate was Kugel for things to turn out for the best, proclaimed Professor Jove, that he couldn't stop worrying about the worst. Hope, said Professor Jove, was Solomon Kugel's greatest failing.”

Optimism Pessimism

Book:Hope: A Tragedy

Source: Hope: A Tragedy

“Sages tell us that the Torah tells us that until the age of thirteen, all of boy's sins are ascribed to his father.”

Sin Torah

Book:Foreskin's Lament

Source: Foreskin's Lament

“You can hope all you want for a happy ending, but sometimes, like it or not, the guy writing your story is working on a tragedy; you may not even be the main character.”

Plagued

Author:Shalom Auslander

“My point is that death is more tragic than life, than any life, because every life has hope of some kind.”

Kind Tragic Having Hope

Book:Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

Source: Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

“Roads are no place for naive chickens dreaming of nirvana.”

Dream Chickens Naive

Book:Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

Source: Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

“...the greatest source of misery in the world, the greatest cause of anguish and hatred and sadness and death, was neither disease nor race nor religion. It was hope.”

World Causes Race Sadness Source Disease Hatred Misery Anguish

Book:Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

Source: Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

“Kugel was a firm believer that death was not always a bad thing - that life often reached such levels of crapitude that dying was preferable to living.”

Levels Dying Believer Firm Bad Things

Author:Shalom Auslander

“It couldn't be an all-bad world, could it, not with birds who warble and call? Maybe that was the secret - to find the few things that made life just a fraction better, and to focus on those. Bird warbles. Peach fuzz. Puppies barking as if they're full grown dogs. Nothing great, certainly nothing to justify the rest of it, but enough to keep you going.”

Ifs World Made Enough Secret Focus Dog Bird Justify Puppy Fractions Peaches

Author:Shalom Auslander

“Vans are the vehicles of murderers. Serial Killers. Rapists. Thieves. Nothing good ever happens in a van. Police should be allowed to arrest van drivers without cause. The van is the cause, asshole.”

Should Happens Causes Police Drivers Vehicle Killers Thieves Murderer Vans Serials Serial Killer

Book:Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

Source: Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

“Expecting hell, we're ill prepared for heaven.”

Heaven Hell Prepared Ill Expecting

Book:Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

Source: Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

“Anger and depression are not diseases or dysfunctions or anomalies; they are perfectly rational responses to the myriad avoidable disappointments that begin in a thoroughly irrational hope.”

Disease Response Disappointment Rational Irrational Dysfunction Anomalies

Book:Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

Source: Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

“Write something dangerous. Say something you shouldn’t. Blow something up. But well.”

Writing Wells Dangerous Blow

Author:Shalom Auslander

“Written with passion, honesty, humor, and a stubborn, rebellious optimism, Dear Marcus is like nothing I've ever read. When a bullet in the back told Jerry McGill not to go on, Jerry went on-smiling.”

Passion Written Honesty Goes On Optimism Dear Bullets Stubborn Rebellious Jerry

Author:Shalom Auslander

“His intelligence only exacerbated the guilt Kugel felt for bringing him into the world. It was one thing to have condemned a child to life, that was criminal enough, but life was a sentence more easily served by fools.”

World Children Enough Felt One Thing Fool Guilt Sentences Criminals

Book:Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

Source: Hope: A Tragedy: A Novel

About the Author

Born: 1970
Known for: Author
Quotes: 14

Books & Sources

Hope: A Tragedy: A NovelRelated source material

Foreskin's LamentRelated source material

Hope: A TragedyRelated source material

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