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Thomas Gordon

Thomas Gordon Biography

Psychologist

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“But what if your kid runs into the street in front of a car? Don't you have to use Method I?" ... If a child develops a habit of running into the street, a parent might first try to talk to the child about the dangers of cars, walk her around the edge of the yard, and tell her that anything beyond is not safe, show her a picture of a child hit by a car, build a fence around the yard, or watch her when she is playing in the front yard for a couple of days, reminding her each time she goes beyond the limits. Even if I took the punishment approach, I would never risk my child's life on the assumption that punishment alone would keep her from going into the street. I would want to employ more certain methods in any event.”

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Book:Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children
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“True honour is an attachment to honest and beneficent principles, and a good reputation; and prompts a man to do good to others, and indeed to all men, at his own cost, pains, or peril. False honour is a pretence to this character, but does things that destroy it: And the abuse of honour is called honour, by those who from that good word borrow credit to act basely, rashly, or foolishly.”

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Author:Thomas Gordon
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“Most parents hate to experience conflict, are deeply troubled when it occurs, and are quite confused about how to handle it constructively. Actually, it would be a rare relationship if over a period of time one person's needs did not conflict with the other's. When any two people (or groups) coexist, conflict is bound to occur just because people are different, think differently, have different needs and wants that sometimes do not match.”

PeopleIfsThinkingWantNeedsPersonsTwoDifferentSometimesWould BeHateParentGroupsPeriodsConflictBoundsHandleConfusedCoexistNeeds And Wants
Book:Parent effectiveness training: the no-lose program for raising responsible children
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“An adolescent does not rebel against her parents. She rebels against their power. If parents would rely less on power and more on nonpower methods to influence their children from infancy on, there would be little for children to rebel against when they become adolescents. The use of power to change the behavior of children, then, has this severe limitation: parents inevitably run out of power, and sooner than they think.”

IfsThinkingChildrenLittlesDoeWould BeRunningParentPowerPsychologyInfluenceMethodParentingInevitableRelyRebelAdolescenceRaising ChildrenInfancyTeaching Children
Author:Thomas Gordon
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