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Tim Fitzhigham Quotes

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Famous Tim Fitzhigham Quotes

“In a French accent developed through a lifetime of using English I said, 'Hello sir, I would like to row the English Channel in a bath please.' What actually arrived in the ear of the French Navy man was, 'Hello sire, I would like to fight a condom across a bath if you please.”

“I phoned the Admiral back. 'It's no use, Admiral, the French speak nothing but French.' There was a short pause on the end of the line then his voice rattled into life like a sabre. 'They're lying, Tim!' 'What?' 'The French Navy must by law speak English, as English is the international maritime language of the sea.' 'Has anyone told the French that?' The line went dead for a moment before he thundered, 'Yes Nelson. At the battle of Trafalgar.' I tried to stifle an irresistibly British giggle not knowing if the Admiral was making a joke or not. I got it right. He was serious.”