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Quote by Dana Gould

“It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.”

Quote by Dana Gould

Author

Dana Gould is an American comedian, writer, and television producer. Known for his unique sense of humor and insightful social commentary, Gould was born on August 24, 1964. He began his career performing in Los Angeles comedy clubs and has since gained recognition in television and film. more

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“I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.”

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“I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it.”

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“Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.”

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“I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.”

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“I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to go about it and I was right.”

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“I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.”

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“Usually the people that peak in high school are tragic, tragic adults. Most of them end up working for the water department in their hometown and driving around said high school as the decades slip past.”

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“I came into music just because I wanted the bread. It's true. I looked around and this seemed like the only way I was going to get the kind of bread I wanted.”

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“As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.”

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“Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.”

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