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Quote by Joan Rivers

“I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.”

Quote by Joan Rivers

Author

Joan Rivers was an American comedian, actress, and television personality known for her sharp wit and controversial humor. She gained fame as a panelist on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson' and later hosted her own talk show, 'The Joan Rivers Show'. Rivers was also a successful author and fashion critic, and her career spanned over five decades. more

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“I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.”

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“All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.”

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“I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'”

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“Be inwardly ever newly joyous, like the ever-fresh laughing waters of a gurgling brook.”

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“But it certainly is a wonderful thing to wake up suddenly in the solitude of the woods and look up at the sky and see the utter nonsense of everything including all the solemn stuff given out by professional asses about the spiritual life; and simply to burst out laughing, and laugh and laugh, with the sky and the trees because God is not in words, and not in systems, and not in liturgical movements, and not in "contemplation" with a big "C," or in asceticism or in anything like that, not even in the apostolate.”

Source: The Hidden Ground of Love: Letters

“I would not exchange the laughter of my heart for the fortunes of the multitudes; nor would I be content with converting my tears, invited by my agonized self, into calm. It is my fervent hope that my whole life on this earth will ever be tears and laughter. Tears that purify my heart and reveal to me the secret of life and its mystery, Laughter that brings me closer to my fellow men; Tears with which I join the broken-hearted, Laugher that symbolizes joy over my very existence.”

“The whole play of existence is so beautiful that laughter can be the only response to it. Only laughter can be the real prayer, gratitude.”

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“Sometimes when I am alone in my room in the dark, I practice smiling to myself. I do this to be kind to myself, to take good care of myself, to love myself. I know that if I cannot take care of myself, I cannot take care of anyone else.”

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“The first half of life is learning to be an adult-the second half is learning to be a child.”

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