“I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...”
Quote by Steven Wright
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“Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?”
“Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.”
“The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.”
“If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.”
“Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.”
“A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.”
