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The Frowny Face Cow

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Tom Althouse

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“We may find ourselves in a role similar to that of a gardener as we cultivate a space in which healing can naturally unfold. In terms of neurobiology, this stance encourages us to lean into the reassuring awareness that our systems already contain seeds awaiting our attention. For some examples, we humans are always seeking the warmest possible attachments we can imagine (Cozolino, Siegel), our brains are continuously yearning for the arrival of a co-organizing other (Badenoch, Cozolino, Schore), emotional regulation flows naturally from being in the presence of someone we trust (Beckes & Coan) and even our nervous systems have a preference for the social engagement circuitry that sustains connection (Porges). With this kind of support from the biology inherent in both practitioner and patient, our bodies may begin to open into a welcoming state as others come towards us, with a sense of partnership being established rather than someone doing something to us. However this also means letting go of the potential certainty that comes from feeling we are in charge.”

PresenceTrauma HealingPerson CenteredTherapy TipsSelf Care For TherapistsInterpersonal NeurobiologyIpnbHealing Partnership
Book:The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
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“Reality presents itself always in the form of a specific concrete situation, and since each life situation is unique, it follows that also the meaning of a situation must be unique. Therefore it would not even be possible for meanings to be transmitted through traditions. Only values– which might be defined as universal meanings— can be affected by the decay of traditions… to put it succinctly: the values are dead–long live the meanings.”

PhilosophyPhilosophy Of LifeExistentialismTherapy TipsLogotherapy
Book:The Unheard Cry for Meaning
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“Once a toxic thought pattern has been recognized, applying the Word of God comes next. Looking at the thoughts that batter your brain through the eyes of Scripture will lead to hope in a way that therapy alone is found wanting.”

Hope QuotesMental Health QuotesDepression QuotesTrauma HealingDepression RecoveryTherapy TipsMental Illness QuotesTrauma Survivor
Book:Joyful Sorrow: Breaking Through the Darkness of Mental Illness
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“For all of us, there are also likely times when therapy simply doesn't seem to move forward as we imagined it would. At this crossroads, we often question ourselves or blame our patients. Between what our culture requires and what we have experienced in childhood, we might go either direction. We have a particular challenge to feeling competent right now. Our left-centric society has done its best to codify the healing process, leaving us with a set of procedures and expected outcomes that don't welcome the individuality of our people of the fluidity of each person's unpredictable and unique process of recovery. This is doubly difficult, because when we follow the course culture provides, safety is already undermined to a greater or lesser extent. I believe it wounds us when we feel we aren't helping a person because we set out with such good hearts to relieve suffering. A well-practiced practitioner might try to guard our hearts by blaming our people's resistance. When a wounded part of us is afraid we are inadequate, this often generates a critical protective voice to try to urge us toward a better performance. In both instances, our ability to be present for our people gets lost in the need to protect. How can we hold these experiences kindly, recognizing that they are part of the human experience? Right now, we might be able to open the arms of inclusion to these parts of us.”

ResistanceTherapy TipsSelf Compassion For TherapistsPerson Centered TherapySelf Care For TherapistsBlaming The PatientBlaming The TherapistLeft Dominant CultureSelf Forgiveness For Therapists
Book:The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
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“Warm curiosity about what is happening is a different kind of experience than judgement. It can help us open to the bigger picture beyond this moment of what feels like failure. We may consider our person's history and our own. We might bring in our left-hemisphere emissary to see how we could understand where we are in the process. In this quieter internal place, sometimes an intuitive sense of trust will come even when we can't figure it out.”

ImperfectionNonviolenceTherapy TipsSelf Compassion For TherapistsNonjudgementImperfect TherapyTherapy FailureWhen Therapy Is Stuck
Book:The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
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“Eres la suma de todas las cosas que te han pasado hasta ese último sorbo de té de la taza que acabas de dejar sobre la mesa. Cómo te abrazaron tus padres, eso que te dijo una vez tu primer novio sobre tus pantorrillas... Todo son ladrillos que te conforman desde la planta de los pies a la coronilla. Tus excentricidades, manías y cagadas son el efecto mariposa de lo que viste en la tele, de las cosas que te dijeron tus profesores y de la forma en que te miraba la gente desde el primer momento en el que abriste los ojos. Ser un detective de tu pasado -deshacer todo ese camino para llegar al punto de partida con la ayuda de un profesional- puede ser increíblemente útil y liberador.”

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Book:Everything I Know About Love
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