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Quote by Jay Leno

“My favorite Halloween candy is the candy corn. It comes in four colors: white, yellow, orange, brown. Those are also the stages of your teeth rotting after you eat it.”

Quote by Jay Leno

Author

Jay Leno (born April 28, 1950) is an American comedian, television host, writer, and car enthusiast. He is best known for hosting NBC's The Tonight Show from 1992 to 2009, and again from 2010 to 2014. Known for his gentle humor, observational comedy, and distinctive chin, Leno became a household name in late-night television. Beyond comedy, he is a passionate car collector with a vast collection of vehicles. He also engages in philanthropy, supporting education, healthcare, and veteran causes. Leno's career spans decades, and he is regarded as one of the most successful talk show hosts in American history. more

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“The Pennsylvania Game Commission has charged a man with going deer hunting with a handgun in a Wal-Mart parking lot. He is being charged with reckless endangerment, but may plead guilty to the lesser charge of being a redneck.... Hunting in a Wal-Mart parking lot. That's got to be some good eating a deer that lives on leftover Twizzlers and Mountain Dew.”

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“The good news is, the stock market is closed and it can't hurt us again until tomorrow.”

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“Studies show American students are becoming less proficient in math. Experts say we should have seen this coming, but nobody could put 2 and 2 together.”

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“Oil prices jumped to well over $100 a barrel, and analysts say it's due to tension in the Middle East. So, luckily, it's just a temporary thing.”

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“The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first.”

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“The Mars rover Curiosity has sent back images of some odd things on the surface of Mars, and some people think they could be UFOs. Here's my question. If we're on the surface of Mars, aren't we the UFO?”

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“The 99 Cent Only Store is calling itself your Valentine's Day headquarters. Guys, if that's your Valentine's Day headquarters, you can also call the garage your new home.”

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“For the first time ever, women are scoring higher than men on IQ tests. Scientists say it has something to do with breast implants -- not that it makes the women smarter, it just makes the men dumber.”

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“A new poll shows only 3 percent strongly approve of the job Congress is doing, with a margin of error of 4 percent, so it's possible that "less than no one" thinks they're doing a good job.”

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“Here's an uplifting story. Congratulations to the Little League team from Huntington Beach, California. Yeah, they beat Japan to win the Little League World Series. That's pretty good. See, that proves that when math and science aren't involved, our kids can beat anybody.”

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