Home / Quotes / Quote by Bruno Bettelheim

Quote by Bruno Bettelheim

“To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security of the parent about being a parent will eventually become the source of the child's feeling secure about himself.”

Quote by Bruno Bettelheim

Author

Bruno Bettelheim

Bruno Bettelheim was a renowned psychologist, born on August 28, 1903, and died on March 13, 1990. He is known for his deep research in child psychology, dream analysis, and parent-child relationships. more

You May Also Like

“Among the most valuable but least appreciated experiences parenthood can provide are the opportunities it offers for exploring, reliving, and resolving one's own childhood problems in the context of one's relation to one's child.”

Children Problem Opportunity Childhood Offers Relation Valuable Parenthood Exploring Appreciated

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“The only effective way to help well-intentioned, intelligent persons to do the best they can in raising children is to encourage and guide them always to do their own thinking in their attempts at understanding and dealing with child-rearing situations and problems, and not to rely blindly on the opinions of others.”

Thinking Way Wells Children Persons Helping Problem Understanding Situation Opinion Intelligent Guides Rely Do The Best Raising Children Child Rearing Intelligent Person

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“Most advice on child-rearing is sought in the hope that it will confirm our prior convictions. If the parent had wished to proceedin a certain way but was made insecure by opposing opinions of neighbors, friends, or relatives, then it gives him great comfort to find his ideas seconded by an expert.”

Ifs Way Giving Children Made Ideas Certain Parent Opinion Advice Comfort Conviction Neighbor Experts Insecure Opposing Child Rearing Neighbors Friends

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“To be told that our child's behavior is "normal" offers little solace when our feelings are badly hurt, or when we worry that hisactions are harmful at the moment or may be injurious to his future. It does not help me as a parent nor lessen my worries when my child drives carelessly, even dangerously, if I am told that this is "normal" behavior for children of his age. I'd much prefer him to deviate from the norm and be a cautious driver!”

Ifs May Children Littles Doe Moments Helping Feelings Age Parent Hurt Worry Offers Behavior Normal Our Children My Children Help Me Drivers Norm Cautious Solace Deviate

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“While criticism or fear of punishment may restrain us from doing wrong, it does not make us wish to do right. Disregarding this simple fact is the great error into which parents and educators fall when they rely on these negative means of correction. The only effective discipline is self-discipline, motivated by the inner desire to act meritoriously in order to do well in one's own eyes, according to one's own values, so that one may feel good about oneself may "have a good conscience.”

“What children learn from punishment is that might makes right. When they are old and strong enough, they will try to get their ownback; thus many children punish their parents by acting in ways distressing to them.”

Way Trying Children Enough Might Strong Parent Acting Punishment Strong Enough Distressing Might Makes Right

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“The good enough parent, in addition to being convinced that whatever his child does, he does it because at that moment he is convinced this is the best he can do, will also ask himself: "What in the world would make me act as my child acts at this moment? And if I felt forced to act this way, what would make me feel better about it?”

Ifs World Way Feels Children Doe Enough Moments Asks Felt Parent Can Do Convinced My Children That Moment Good Enough Feel Better Make Me Feel Better

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“Parents ought, through their own behavior and the values by which they live, to provide direction for their children. But they need to rid themselves of the idea that there are surefire methods which, when well applied, will produce certain predictable results. Whatever we do with and for our children ought to flow from our understanding of and our feelings for the particular situation and the relation we wish to exist between us and our child.”

Needs Wells Children Ideas Feelings Certain Values Wish Parent Understanding Results Situation Produce Particular Ought Behavior Flow Relation Our Children Method Predictable

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“There's nothing more life-changing than fatherhood.”

Family Life Changing Fatherhood

Author:Brad Pitt

“Philip Galanes makes his debut with a novel that is both heartbreaking and deftly comic, the story of a young man struggling with his most primitive desires--wanting and needing. It is a novel about the complex relationships between parents and children, a story of loss and of our unrelenting need for acknowledgment, to be seen as who we are. And in the end it is simply a love story for our time.”