Quotessence
Home / Authors / Bruno Bettelheim
Bruno Bettelheim

Bruno Bettelheim Quotes

Psychologist

Filter quotes by topic

AllChildrenParentFairyWayFairy TaleIfsTalesDoeFeelsMay

Famous Bruno Bettelheim Quotes

“The myth of Oedipus . . . arouses powerful intellectual and emotional reactions in the adult-so much so, that it may provide a cathartic experience, as Aristotle taught all tragedy does. [A reader] may wonder why he is so deeply moved; and in responding to what he observes as his emotional reaction, ruminating about the mythical events and what these mean to him, a person may come to clarify his thoughts and feelings. With this, certain inner tensions which are the consequence of events long past may be relieved; previously unconscious material can then enter one's awareness and become accessible for conscious working through. This can happen if the observer is deeply moved emotionally by the myth, and at the sametime strongly motivated intellectually to understand it.”

StoriesTragedySelf AwarenessMeaningMythsCatharsis
Book:The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales
Create image

“This is exactly the message that fairy tales get across to the child in manifold form: that a struggle against severe difficulties in life is unavoidable, is an intrinsic part of human existence -- but that if one does not shy away, but steadfastly meets unexpected and often unjust hardships, one masters all obstacles and at the end emerges victorious.”

IfsLifeHumansChildrenDoeEndsMotivationalFormLife IsExistenceStruggleMastersVictoryMessagesDifficultyAdversityObstaclesTalesUpliftingFairyHard TimesUnexpectedShyHardshipFairy TaleSevereUnjustEncouragingTough TimesOvercoming AdversityHuman ExistenceFairytaleWords Of EncouragementManifold
Book:The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales
Create image

“Fairy tales are loved by the child not because the imagery he finds in them conforms to what goes on within him, but because--despite all the angry, anxious thoughts in his mind to which the fairy tale gives body and specific content--these stories always result in a happy outcome, which the child cannot imagine on his own.”

GivingMindChildrenStoriesBodyResultsImagineGoes OnAngryTalesDespiteOutcomesFairyAnxiousFairy TaleConformImageryAnxious Thoughts
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“A parent who from his own childhood experience is convinced of the value of fairy tales will have no difficulty in answering his child's questions; but an adult who thinks these tales are only a bunch of lies had better not try telling them; he won't be able to related them in a way which would enrich the child's life.”

ThinkingWayTryingChildrenAbleLyingValuesParentChildhoodAdultsDifficultyConvincedBunchTalesRelatedFairyFairy Tale
Book:The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales
Create image

“Plato--who may have understood better what forms the mind of man than do some of our contemporaries who want their children exposed only to "real" people and everyday events--knew what intellectual experience made for true humanity. He suggested that the future citizens of his ideal republic begin their literary education with the telling of myths, rather than with mere facts or so-called rational teachings.”

PeopleMenWantMindMayChildrenMadeRealFactsFormHumanityEducationTeachingEventsCitizensIntellectualUnderstoodIdealsMereEverydayMythRationalRepublicExposedPlato
Book:The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales
Create image

“Although we like to think of young children's lives as free of troubles, they are in fact filled with disappointment and frustration. Children wish for so much, but can arrange so little of their own lives, which are so often dominated by adults without sympathy for the children's priorities. That is why children have a much greater need for daydreams than adults do. And because their lives have been relatively limited they have a greater need for material from which to form daydreams.”

ThinkingNeedsChildrenLittlesHas BeensFactsFormYoungWishGreaterTroubleChildhoodMaterialsAdultsFilledDisappointmentPrioritiesFrustrationThink Of YouDaydreamingYoung Children
Book:Freud's Vienna and Other Essays
Create image

“The goal in raising one's child is to enable him, first, to discover who he wants to be, and then to become a person who can be satisfied with himself and his way of life. Eventually he ought to be able to do in his life whatever seems important, desirable, and worthwhile to him to do; to develop relations with other people that are constructive, satisfying, mutually enriching; and to bear up well under the stresses and hardships he will unavoidably encounter during his life.”

PeopleWayWantFirstsWellsChildrenPersonsImportantSeemsAbleGoalGrowing UpBearsOughtStressRelationSatisfiedEncountersHardshipSatisfyingWorthwhileDesirableConstructiveEnriching
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“A child... who has learned from fairy stories to believe that what at first seemed a repulsive, threatening figure can magically change into a most helpful friend is ready to believe that a strange child whom he meets and fears may also be changed from a menace into a desirable companion.”

FirstsBelieveMayChildrenStoriesLiteratureFiguresChangedStrangeReadyFairyHelpfulCompanionThreateningDesirableMenaceChildren's LiteratureFairy Stories
Book:The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales
Create image

“As Anna Freud remarked, the toddler who wanders off into some other aisle, feels lost, and screams anxiously for his mother neversays "I got lost," but accusingly says "You lost me!" It is a rare mother who agrees that she lost him! she expects her child to stay with her; in her experience it is the child who has lost track of the mother, while in the child's experience it is the mother who has lost track of him. Each view is entirely correct from the perspective of the individual who holds it .”

FeelsChildrenMotherIndividualLostViewsPerspectiveAgreeTrackWanderScreamAnnaAisleToddlerLost Me
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“The good enough mother, owing to her deep empathy with her infant, reflects in her face his feelings; this is why he sees himselfin her face as if in a mirror and finds himself as he sees himself in her. The not good enough mother fails to reflect the infant's feelings in her face because she is too preoccupied with her own concerns, such as her worries over whether she is doing right by her child, her anxiety that she might fail him.”

IfsChildrenEnoughFeelingsMightFacesMotherWorryFailingAnxietyEmpathyConcernMirrorsGood EnoughInfantNot Good EnoughOwingDoing Right
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“The child knows only that he engages in play because it is enjoyable. He isn't aware of his need to play--a need which has its source in the pressure of unsolved problems. Nor does he know that his pleasure in playing comes from a deep sense of well-being that is the direct result of feeling in control of things, in contrast to the rest of his life, which is managed by his parents or other adults.”

KnowsNeedsWellsChildrenDoePlayFeelingsProblemParentPleasureResultsSourceAdultsDirectPressureWell BeingContrastEnjoyableUnsolved Problems
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“The only effective way to help well-intentioned, intelligent persons to do the best they can in raising children is to encourage and guide them always to do their own thinking in their attempts at understanding and dealing with child-rearing situations and problems, and not to rely blindly on the opinions of others.”

ThinkingWayWellsChildrenPersonsHelpingProblemUnderstandingSituationOpinionIntelligentGuidesRelyDo The BestRaising ChildrenChild RearingIntelligent Person
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“To be told that our child's behavior is "normal" offers little solace when our feelings are badly hurt, or when we worry that hisactions are harmful at the moment or may be injurious to his future. It does not help me as a parent nor lessen my worries when my child drives carelessly, even dangerously, if I am told that this is "normal" behavior for children of his age. I'd much prefer him to deviate from the norm and be a cautious driver!”

IfsMayChildrenLittlesDoeMomentsHelpingFeelingsAgeParentHurtWorryOffersBehaviorNormalOur ChildrenMy ChildrenHelp MeDriversNormCautiousSolaceDeviate
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“While criticism or fear of punishment may restrain us from doing wrong, it does not make us wish to do right. Disregarding this simple fact is the great error into which parents and educators fall when they rely on these negative means of correction. The only effective discipline is self-discipline, motivated by the inner desire to act meritoriously in order to do well in one's own eyes, according to one's own values, so that one may feel good about oneself may "have a good conscience.”

FeelsWellsMayMeanDoeSelfFactsEyeDesireValuesOrderFallWishParentSimpleDisciplineConscienceNegativeCriticismErrorsOneselfPunishmentFeel GoodRelyMotivatedSelf DisciplineEducatorCorrections
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“The good enough parent, in addition to being convinced that whatever his child does, he does it because at that moment he is convinced this is the best he can do, will also ask himself: "What in the world would make me act as my child acts at this moment? And if I felt forced to act this way, what would make me feel better about it?”

IfsWorldWayFeelsChildrenDoeEnoughMomentsAsksFeltParentCan DoConvincedMy ChildrenThat MomentGood EnoughFeel BetterMake Me Feel Better
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“Parents ought, through their own behavior and the values by which they live, to provide direction for their children. But they need to rid themselves of the idea that there are surefire methods which, when well applied, will produce certain predictable results. Whatever we do with and for our children ought to flow from our understanding of and our feelings for the particular situation and the relation we wish to exist between us and our child.”

NeedsWellsChildrenIdeasFeelingsCertainValuesWishParentUnderstandingResultsSituationProduceParticularOughtBehaviorFlowRelationOur ChildrenMethodPredictable
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image

“The unrealistic nature of these tales (which narrowminded rationalists object to) is an important device, because it makes obvious that the fairy tales’ concern is not useful information about the external world, but the inner process taking place in an individual.”

WorldImportantIndividualProcessInformationObjectsConcernObviousTalesFairyDevicesFairy TaleUseful Information
Book:The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales
Create image

“The delight we experience when we allow ourselves to respond to a fairy tale, the enchantment we feel, comes not from the psychological meaning of the tale (although this contributes to it) but from its literary qualities-the tale itself as a work of art.”

FeelsArtQualityDelightTalesPsychologicalFairyWorks Of ArtFairy TaleEnchantment
Book:The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales
Create image

“For those who immerse themselves in what the fairy tale has to communicate, it becomes a deep, quiet pool which at first seems to reflect only our own image; but behind it we soon discover the inner turmoils of our soul - its depth, and ways to gain peace within ourselves and with the world, which is the reward of our struggles.”

WorldWayFirstsSoulSeemsBehindsStruggleQuietGainsRewardsDepthCommunicateTalesFairyPoolFairy TaleTurmoilPeace Within
Author:Bruno Bettelheim
Create image