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Quote by Bruno Bettelheim

“Whoever influences the child's life ought to try to give him a positive view of himself and of his world. The child's future happiness and his ability to cope with life and relate to others will depend on it.”

Quote by Bruno Bettelheim

Author

Bruno Bettelheim

Bruno Bettelheim was a renowned psychologist, born on August 28, 1903, and died on March 13, 1990. He is known for his deep research in child psychology, dream analysis, and parent-child relationships. more

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“As Anna Freud remarked, the toddler who wanders off into some other aisle, feels lost, and screams anxiously for his mother neversays "I got lost," but accusingly says "You lost me!" It is a rare mother who agrees that she lost him! she expects her child to stay with her; in her experience it is the child who has lost track of the mother, while in the child's experience it is the mother who has lost track of him. Each view is entirely correct from the perspective of the individual who holds it .”

Feels Children Mother Individual Lost Views Perspective Agree Track Wander Scream Anna Aisle Toddler Lost Me

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“The good enough mother, owing to her deep empathy with her infant, reflects in her face his feelings; this is why he sees himselfin her face as if in a mirror and finds himself as he sees himself in her. The not good enough mother fails to reflect the infant's feelings in her face because she is too preoccupied with her own concerns, such as her worries over whether she is doing right by her child, her anxiety that she might fail him.”

Ifs Children Enough Feelings Might Faces Mother Worry Failing Anxiety Empathy Concern Mirrors Good Enough Infant Not Good Enough Owing Doing Right

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“The child knows only that he engages in play because it is enjoyable. He isn't aware of his need to play--a need which has its source in the pressure of unsolved problems. Nor does he know that his pleasure in playing comes from a deep sense of well-being that is the direct result of feeling in control of things, in contrast to the rest of his life, which is managed by his parents or other adults.”

Knows Needs Wells Children Doe Play Feelings Problem Parent Pleasure Results Source Adults Direct Pressure Well Being Contrast Enjoyable Unsolved Problems

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security of the parent about being a parent will eventually become the source of the child's feeling secure about himself.”

Feels Children Enough Feelings Able Parent Security Source Relation Secure Good Enough Parenthood Being A Parent

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“Among the most valuable but least appreciated experiences parenthood can provide are the opportunities it offers for exploring, reliving, and resolving one's own childhood problems in the context of one's relation to one's child.”

Children Problem Opportunity Childhood Offers Relation Valuable Parenthood Exploring Appreciated

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“The only effective way to help well-intentioned, intelligent persons to do the best they can in raising children is to encourage and guide them always to do their own thinking in their attempts at understanding and dealing with child-rearing situations and problems, and not to rely blindly on the opinions of others.”

Thinking Way Wells Children Persons Helping Problem Understanding Situation Opinion Intelligent Guides Rely Do The Best Raising Children Child Rearing Intelligent Person

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“Most advice on child-rearing is sought in the hope that it will confirm our prior convictions. If the parent had wished to proceedin a certain way but was made insecure by opposing opinions of neighbors, friends, or relatives, then it gives him great comfort to find his ideas seconded by an expert.”

Ifs Way Giving Children Made Ideas Certain Parent Opinion Advice Comfort Conviction Neighbor Experts Insecure Opposing Child Rearing Neighbors Friends

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“To be told that our child's behavior is "normal" offers little solace when our feelings are badly hurt, or when we worry that hisactions are harmful at the moment or may be injurious to his future. It does not help me as a parent nor lessen my worries when my child drives carelessly, even dangerously, if I am told that this is "normal" behavior for children of his age. I'd much prefer him to deviate from the norm and be a cautious driver!”

Ifs May Children Littles Doe Moments Helping Feelings Age Parent Hurt Worry Offers Behavior Normal Our Children My Children Help Me Drivers Norm Cautious Solace Deviate

Author:Bruno Bettelheim

“While criticism or fear of punishment may restrain us from doing wrong, it does not make us wish to do right. Disregarding this simple fact is the great error into which parents and educators fall when they rely on these negative means of correction. The only effective discipline is self-discipline, motivated by the inner desire to act meritoriously in order to do well in one's own eyes, according to one's own values, so that one may feel good about oneself may "have a good conscience.”

“What children learn from punishment is that might makes right. When they are old and strong enough, they will try to get their ownback; thus many children punish their parents by acting in ways distressing to them.”

Way Trying Children Enough Might Strong Parent Acting Punishment Strong Enough Distressing Might Makes Right

Author:Bruno Bettelheim