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Quote by Emo Philips

“Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.”

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Emo Philips, born on February 7, 1956, is a versatile entertainer known for his contributions to music, performance, and comedy. His unique style and humor have won him the affection of a wide audience. more

“You can talk about things indirectly, but if you want to talk how people really talk, you have to talk R-rated. I mean I've got three incredibly intelligent daughters, but when you get mad, you get mad and you talk like people talk. When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they're not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it's cable.”

People Ifs Way Want Years Mean Girl Three House Talking Boys Tvs Mom Dad Normal Daughter Intelligent Mad Storm Cables Not Talking

Author:Bob Saget

“The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn't do it for me either. You just try to be funny.”

Trying Self Stuff Laughing Smart Intelligent Hips Make Me Laugh

Author:Greg Giraldo

“There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the lead singer of Kajagoogoo is, I'm your guy. His name is Limahl, by the way.”

People Ifs Knows World Way Needs Kind Two Guy Names This World Smart Starting Singers Pursuit Monopoly Talk To Me Own Business

Author:Christian Finnegan

“I was always the class clown, although many teachers view the class clown as a trouble maker. But I always had good grades, so the only thing my parents were told was that while I was intelligent, I talked too much.”

Parent Views Class Too Much Teacher Trouble Intelligent Grades Makers Clown Good Grades Trouble Maker

Author:Godfrey

“If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.”

Ifs Looks Compassion Republican Wounds Debate Abe

Author:Dana Gould

“Remember only the good, the bad will never forget you.”

Remember Forget Never Forget Forget You

Author:Douglas Horton

“The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!”

Pain Waiting Doctors Bills Hospitals Stomach

Author:Jack Benny

“When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him!”

World Als Frank Entertainers Garlands

Author:Jack Benny

“There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.”

People Real Five Hollywood Mel Blanc

Author:Jack Benny

Quote by Emo Philips

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